Thank you all for your support through all of this. I am starting this new thread because the "Help, she's "working late" " thread was getting a little too long for some people to open quickly. Wait until you hear whatr happened tonight. I'll tell you in the morning"

thanks hbd!! cl

Well, its morning.... are you ok? what happened?

Well as you guys know i have been having e-mails with the OM's girlfriend. I haven't hidden anything from my wife including the e-mails. Well she proceeds to reply to her last message with a lot of questions. I'll paste them at the bottom of this post. Why does she want to know these answers? She knew I didn't want her to ask these questions, so why did she do it anyway? They all seem to be questions you would ask if you wanted the OM back. Remember I was instrumental in stopping this affair. What do you think?<P>Don't take this the wrong way, I am not trying to make you tell me more than you are ready to. However, through our conversations I can not tell if you have forgiven "OM" for betraying you? When or if he moves back to "OM's Hometown" are you going to continue the relationship with him. Has he told you anymore about his relationship with "W"? have they been talking latley. Do you feel their relationship is truly over? When will you or will you be seing "OM" again?<BR>

"They all seem to be questions you would ask if you wanted the OM back."<P>That's my take on it too.<P>Stop all correspondence with the g/f.<P>If it were me...and obviously it's not, it's you....I would move immediately to a Plan B.<P>If your W has been reading all these posts, she knows you're tapping the phone? It's not an ace in the hole then. Just a random thought.<P><P>------------------<BR>Laura<P>"I cannot care a little for you. I love you only just enough to love you all the way."~~Rod McKuen<BR>

It's hard to move to plan B when most things seem to be going do well. I just got an e-mail from the g/f and she didn't mention any of the questions my W had asked. I'm not sure if she got it or not. She may just be avoiding the subject. My W says she is just curious, but it is a little fishy.

She's just curious? You're not gonna fall for that one are you?

No not really, I'm trying to make myself feel better about this.

I have a weird question...how would she react if you literally took her across your knee and spanked her? I rather like displays of male dominance in my H. (non-violent stuff, don't get me wrong)<P>Maybe she just needs to be told NO!!! by you.

Not a bad idea. The spanking could be interesting, it just depends on what's she wearing! I guess you're saying stand up and be a man?

Absolutely. The backseat approach is not getting through to her.<P>------------------<BR>Laura<P>"I cannot care a little for you. I love you only just enough to love you all the way."~~Rod McKuen<BR>

HBD - I feel for you, I really do, being in a similar situation. But I think that if it were my W, I'd have given her notice by this time. Him or me, you know. No more contact of ANY kind!<P>On a slightly different note, boy, I wish I had your sources of information! I don't recall from your earlier thread that you told how you FIRST discovered your W's affair, and if you confronted her then. From your post (at the start of the really long thread) it sounded like this had been an issue for you and her for quite a while, but that she's indicated she'd (finally) given up her affair and you were testing her to see if she had. I'm just curious. How long had you know about it before this and how did you first find out? Phone tap?<P>Here's the kind of info I'm managing to eke out. I overheard my W making arrangements on the phone w/ an F friend of ours to got to a certain beach today. What I overheard was that they would leave early, go and then maybe have lunch and that would be it. But this morning she tells me she'll be back late in the afternoon. Of course, I immediately suspect what she's going to do the rest of the time (from lunchtime through late afternoon), especially since my two prime suspects for OM live in more or less the same direction as this beach. So I guess I could have gone on what would probably have been a wild goose chase looking for her car in his vicinity, but decided to save my energy. The problem is, I've never overheard her talking to him directly (or the couple of times I thought I did, she pretended it was somebody else). I've also hacked into her email, but that doesn't seem to be the way they communicate. So I'd really like to hear more details about how you've been gathering your info!<P>--Wex

I was out of town and discovered that she wasn't home one of the nights. She lied about where she was, so then I knew something was up. Finally after catching her on several wierd phone calls she admitted she was "spending time" with someone from her office, but she didn't admit there was anything else. Then the phone tap. An $80 investestment that has really kept me in the know. From that I caught her at his apartment and at a bar with him. I also found out that she was emotionally involved with this guy. The affair only lasted about 6 weeks before I had the talk with the Om and stopped it. It only went about a week before I found out. Buy the tap.

Well, I'm back. As most of you know we went to Florida for the week on vacation. We ended up taking our 2-1/2 year old so it wasn't what I expected. Some stuff, different day. She still thinks everything can just go back to the way it was. Nothing special for me. I am considering leaving for a while. She has such a hold over me, maybe I am the one who needs some independance.

Where did u get the tap? Info. please!

HBD--<P>C-o-u-n-s-e-l-i-n-g. Please go, with her in tow.<P>You CAN make it.<P>------------------<BR>Laura<P>"I cannot care a little for you. I love you only just enough to love you all the way."~~Rod McKuen<BR>

Radio Shack. A wonderful store. I forget the model number, but it's balck and looks like an answering machine. It takes standard cassettes and runs on 4 AA or you can buy the DC power supply. All you do is plug it into any phone jack in your house, it starts recording when it hears any noise on the line so it records from any extension. I ran an extra jack in the garage so she wouldn't be able to find it. If you hide it inside, be careful it makes a very small noise when it starts to record, otherwise it is un detectable. If it's under the bed, wrap it in a blanket.

We had an appointment before we left, but she said she didn't feel like going so I went by myself. I made one for wednesday and she didn't sound too happy about it, but I think she'll go- reluctantly. I don't want to have to drag her, you would think she would be dragging me.

She just called to cancel our counseling todaty at 12! Why won't she go? Does she just not care?

Maybe she is enjoying all the attention - and thinks counseling will expose the truth, and stop the game?<P>Go anyway, even if she won't!