My H had an A & I have a fear I won't be able to get over it, & a fear it'll happen again. Please help me understand your situation so that I'll know he's not so different & does truly cherish me re:less of the A
1) How old are you (WS) & the OP?
H 37; OP 21<p>2) How did it start?
At the gym; she pursued him<p>3) How long did it last?
1 year; but 10 mos of it he tried to get away from OP, but she threatened to tell me while I was preg.<p>4) How did it end?
She finally told me knowing it was going to end.<p>5) What need was it fulfilling?
My H says it was the "rush"; the challenge; his low self-esteem/ his ego.<p>6) What need wasn't being fulfilled at home?
My H says he was very happy at home. (but there had to have been something; is he not being honest w/me &/or himself?)<p>7) What makes you think it'll never happen again in the future?
H said it was the worst mistake he made. He would never want to hurt me again like that. He never thought of the consequences.<p>8) What was the one best thing did you do to help your significant other get over it & move on?<p>9) What do you think your BS did to help themself to move on? <p>SUMMARY:
1) How old are you (WS) & the OP?
2) How did it start?
3) How long did it last?
4) How did it end?
5) What need was it fulfilling?
6) What need wasn't being fulfilled at home?
7) What makes you think it'll never happen again in the future?
8) What was the one best thing did you do to help your significant other get over it & move on?
9) What do you think your BS did to help themself to move on?

1) me-31(just), WS-30, OP-19
2) He was her student 6 years ago, been close friends since, confided in him when I was "shut down"
3) PA-2 months (to date), EA- probably 6 mos.
4) Hasn't ended
5) Fulfilling nearly ALL needs (except financial)
6) I was "shut down" for nearly a year in deep depression, so I hadn't met nearly ANY needs.
7) She realizes that beginning it prior to ending the marriage was a HUGE mistake, jeopardizing any hopes of a relationship there (and here). She was raised deeply Christian.
8) I'm Plan A'ing now, hopefully that will show her that I'VE changed (out of the funk), and that I'm once again the one had met her EN for years.
9)

Gottoknow --<p>I think you need to re-titled this post, you are really seeking answers from RECOVERED WS's.