Well, here we go again is how I'm feeling today. My H has been staying with his sister since 9/22 (his 2nd time moving out). As far as I can tell, contact has finally ended (10/2). I saw the actual e-mail he sent her where he told her he DIDN'T LOVE HER and never wanted to see or speak to her again. H and I have had some really good times since that e-mail was sent. What I'm worried about is that he wants things to go back to the way they were before I got angry with him this last two years (that's the reason he claims he left to have an A). My anger came as a result of his continually over the course of the last few years, making me feel unimportant and unloved by him. Everything came before me and my feelings. My fear is that while he now says he understands that my feelings were valid and not "ridiculous" as he'd told me for years, that he will not make any changes in that area. It's like as long as I'm being "nice" and "loving" that makes him happy. So do I just continue to Plan A and hope he will want to take the steps necessary to make me feel loved and appreciated at some point? He is continuing (so far) his individual counseling to try to figure out why he's so selfish and self-centered. This is a really good thing. I just get the feeling that if I'm a good girl, and don't get angry and verbally abusive again, he'll be happy. I don't think he's focusing too hard on what makes ME unhappy in our relationship (aside from the A). Any thoughts?
P.S. - He is NOT interested in the EN's questionnaire, SAA, or any of the agreements here at MB.

MOM,<p>I can relate!!! Your doing good, just stay on track and keep up a good Plan A. I think we are married to the same man!!! He cannot start meeting your needs until he feels better about himself and can forgive himself for what he did. Have patience.<p>Good Luck! I'll be checking in on you and keeping you in my prayers!<p>Heck

Good luck.<p>remember this is a long road, it takes time.<p>are you talking to someone.<p>call Steve & see if you can get a plan of action when the WS doesn't want to do the things your H doesn't want to do.

Thanks heck and sing,
We are both seeing a really good Christian counselor (individually for now). I'm hopeful, but do understand that the road to recovery is a long one. I'm pretty tired already, I don't mind tellin ya! I just keep praying for the strength, patience and peace for right where I am today...<p>MOM

MOM,<p>I am wishing you all the best and praying for the right outcome for you. I understand he is in individual counseling. How about joint counseling. Joint counseling, I believe, is the appropriate venue for addressing your feelings and his respect for you. You are right it is going to be a long and difficult road, but aren't all the good things in life the ones that you worked the hardest for. As you have read (I saw your post to me) we are both in for a rough ride, but isn't this a better ride than one attorneys at the wheel.<p>Just as a side note, a week and a half ago I stopped asking god to fix this and make my W come back and apologize, instead I started asking simply for the strength to fix the problems and forgive the past, two days later my W showed up at my door.

MOM I'm really happy for you! Be patient with him. I know it's going to be trying just remember the reasons you are doing this b/c you love him and want to save your M. I too tend to get angry very easily sometimes and fly off the handle. I want my H to come more than anything but I don't want to live walking on eggshells around him. Best of luck to you and remember we are here for you so come here to vent. No LB's! I'm glad to hear that he is in counseling to that is definitely a good start. I'm praying for you.
C