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#955104 11/01/01 12:25 AM
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 285
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I blew it again. Maybe I'm not cut out for MB priniples.<p>I confronted the OW yesterday. She and my FWS work together in a 3 person office. Yesterday I called her and asked her to meet me. My H had not yet told her that I knew. I did know that she had to have an idea that I knew based on my H's mood at work this last month. My H told me that the A was over 2 weeks before I found out.<p>When we met I told her that I knew she had sex w/ my H and if I ever found out that anything inaproptiate happend between them again that I would tell her H. I also told her that if there was no reason, she would never hear from me again.<p>Well, my H moved out last weekend, and apparently he was at her desk working on her computer, his was down and she was out of the office, when he saw our home number on her calander. When he came over to take our S treak or treating tonight he was very cold to me. (He asked me to go out to dinner this weekend just last night) so his behaviour was suspicouse (sp?). I asked him to wait until S was in bed so we could talk. He did. He is angry at me now and seems to care more about her feelings in all of this than mine. He admitted to still having feelings for her and if not for the fact that they work together it would probably still be going on. SHE was able to make him laugh. All he can do with me is argue...blah blah blah.<p>I told him that I want desperatly to be the person that can make him feel comfortable and laugh with. He can't see that happening. I explained to him that my confronting her yesterday was for me, a way of me trying to get back to the person I used to be. I used to be very strong and very outspoken person. That is the person he fell in love with and I have been someone who just lets life happen to her for too long. Confronting OW and telling her to stay away from my husband was my way of standing up for myself and being strong again. It just made him angry.<p>So know he does not want to go out this weekend and feels like I tried to take something (OW) away from him. He thinks I am trying to control him.<p>I don't know what to do now. I told him that I did have a sitter for this weekend, but if he wants to cancel that is fine. I told him that I want him back but that I do have a line in the sand for what I can deal with. He of course thinks that this is my way of saying that I only want him back under my conditions. My conditions are that I want him to commit to trying to make it work. I dont think that will happen, I think it is truly over. I think he cares more about her than me.

#955105 11/01/01 03:05 PM
Joined: Apr 2001
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Hey dont beat yourself up. Husband knows you will make a fuss for him, OW knows you are not afraid of her.
Give it a day or two and the roller coaster will change directions!
Over done with - gone
so easy to say - just forget it! Harder to work on it.
Good Luck

#955106 11/01/01 03:20 PM
Joined: Oct 2001
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Wow, thanks for the response. I had not even looked at it that way. You would think that he would see it as a way of letting him know he is important enough for me to fight for. It was an action instead of just words. And in reality, I would be thrilled if maybe she is just a little afraid of ME.<p>As for the rollercoaster ride we are all on, somebody stop the world, I wanna get off.


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