OK, so get this. WS accuses me of trying to control her, OK, true. But I won't from now on.<p>But for years, I've had a pet peave about the silverware in the dishwasher. Even before we were married (7 yrs. ago), I asked that and she complied with putting the knives and forks in the back of the silverware tray, and placing them with the points up. I explained that this is because the dishwashing detergent is HIGHLY caustic, and will tend to dull the edges/points if it's allowed to collect on them while they're facing down (don't have any idea where I picked it up, but that's beside the point).<p>Well, she's made a concerted effort to NOT let anyone (well, at least ME) control her, and so Tuesday, when she came over for dinner, she made a point to clear the table (I thought she was just being nice, but....).<p>Here's the funny part. She put the knives and forks in the front of the tray, and she put them face down....coincidence, I think not. That's the first time she's done that in over 10 years.<p>Kind of brought a grin to my face, hope it picks some of you up too.<p>Kev

Kevco-<p>Sorry buddy....but I just don't get it. I have been reading your posts lately and now this? <p>Frankly from the information provided here, I think YOU should IMMEDIATELY seek therapy. <p>There is something wrong when you concentrate on whether the silverware is up or down when your marriage is in crisis. <p>10 Years? If this is a representative example, I don't know how she lasted 10 weeks.

Um, yeah. I AM in therapy. I'm just in a particularly decent mood today and that just kinda struck me as funny (as did your reply, thanks!)<p>But on a serious note, I make no claims to NOT have problems of my own. As a matter of fact, I have taken responsibility for them to her, my counsellor, and myself. I've asked her to forgive me, and I'm working on doing just that myself.<p>I know that my posts of late have seemed awefully MANIC (but I was tested for that), but this all is just so completely foreign to me, I've often been at a loss for what to do/say. Something that really has NEVER happened to me before. Through it all, I'm trying to keep my chin up, know that I CAN be confident, retain a little humor, and wind my way through this with God's help.<p>Thanks, have a good eve.
K

okay,
here's some controlling issues.
My H has asked me more than several times to place the canned goods not in exactly alphabetical order, but all the green beans with the green beans, corn together, canned milk, etc.
I do once in awhile but give up, I have better things to do with my time IMHO and it drives me crazy that these things must be so exact. So it is a LB for me not to do this but I just can't keep up with it. It reminds me of that movie with Julia Roberts where she leaves her controlling husband and he comes after her.
We have a fight about this about once every year. He likes his silverware all straight too. I figure he's lucky if they get in the right drawer. And the canned stuff, he's lucky we have it all in one place, let alone stacked asthetically.
After all, he's not the one running around after three kids and a hubby. Yest he did the dishes (I told him I would do them, but he said he had planned to do them...(I about fainted), but then when he heard someone was coming over to get something, he said "I'm outta here, noone is going to see me in the kitchen". I said, "what is that? another wierd issue?"
He gets so bent on appearances when I am just trying to get through life no matter how it appears.
Mikkey

kevco<p>Thank you, that brought a grin to my face too.
First time in ten years. She probably wanted to see your reaction. I say a grin, was a good one.

Kevco-<p>Sorry for my terse reply earlier....but your post took me back to an incredibly painful time in my life. You mentioned that you have been tested for Manic depression, but what about Obcessive Compulsive Disorder? Or are you simply a perfectionist. <p>I was married to a perfectionist. Cans alphabetized, socks rotated front to back in the drawers, sheets hung in closet, bleach in dishwater, pencils on left side of drawer/pens on right....etc. And if something was done wrong he wouldn't talk to me for days.<p>Incidentally his name was Kevin. He was extremely demanding and controlling and I was absolutely miserable. <p>On the outside Kevin was the perfect son, straight A's in college, Graduate school and finished at the top of his Med School Class....but, he ultimately did so alone.<p>On the flip side, I understand that he has been very happy for quite a few years to someone who suited him better than I. I have been married to a man who loves me [warts and all] for 20 years tomorrow. <p>Don't know if any of this is useful....just my ramblings and an explanation of my reply earlier.
Please accept my apology.
C&I

C&I,<p>No apology necessary. I understood that I might take some heat for making light the situation when I posted. But then again, I hoped to elicit a grin from someone else out there, and I did.<p>BTW, you brought ANOTHER grin to my face. Obsessive/compulsive? HMMMM, well, maybe a little but not often (certainly not anything like Jack in "As Good As It Gets"). Perfectionist? Yup, in most things (checkbook balanced to the penny, measuring to hang a picture, all the tools in the right place), but in others not so much....you ought to see my sock drawer {and that's not a come on line [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] }<p>Thanks for the post, sorry it dredged up sour memories, not my intention at all.<p>Good night to all, and God bless.<p>K

I'm sorry, I can't stand it and have to ask ...<p>Confused&Insecure, can you pls tell me what "sheets hung in closet" is? <p>Jo

Naturally, everyone hangs their sheets in the closet! Fold them length wise, [5X for Queens, 6X for King] and they fit nicely over the hanger. Then if you neatly fold the matching pillowcases over the top, you never have to search for sheets in a drawer. I warn you though.....those fitted corners are H@!!. <p>And if you rotate your socks in a drawer they will all get the same amount of wear. You put the freshly laundered and matched ones in the back of the drawer, pulling the older ones foreward. That way they all receive the same amount of wear.....AAARRRRRGGGGGGG!!!!!! <p>I'm so glad my husband doesn't want his underwear folded or even his socks matched! God has blessed me with a messy man and I couldn't be happier about that!

Holy Toledo, S&I!<p>Talkin about anal retentive. Sorry. <p>I'm a clean freak, but there are limits. I had no idea people could be so particular about such things. <p>Yanno, my mom told me that my dad's mom (my Grandmother) ironed my dad's boxers ... as a matter of fact, I think she also ironed the sheets. CAN YOU IMAGINE?<p>Thanks for the explanantion, Hon. <p>Jo

Just be careful with kids in the house! My sis-in-law always put her silverware standing up in the dishwasher..and her boys and their friends ran through the house..... one of them tripped and was stabbed by the silverware. He is ok, but...lesson learned! (of course, they shouldnt be running either).....Man, do I sound like a MOM!<p>But...I do get your point.

As long as we're doing goofy stories...<p>No one around my house knows how to pick up after themselves... including me. I brew beer and there's a ritual that goes along with drinking real beer. You have to use a glass. <p>Well, I sometimes leave my bottle cap on counter after I pour my beer (and drink it, hehe). W got irate this weekend after picking up a bottle cap for the third day in a row!!! I almost said nasty things back. The thing is, our counter is about 3/4 covered with school papers, old mail, bills and, oh yeah, dishes the kids left out from lunch.... I don't know how she actually found the bottle cap in all that.<p>W says she's tired of picking up all my bottle caps. She doesn't really (pick them all up), but I guess it's probably best that she doesn't know how much beer I actually drink. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Of course, hours before, in a mad cleaning frenzy (that unfortunately didn't touch the counter) W threw a pile of boxes (cereal, macaroni, etc.) out on the back steps... which I noticed and threw in the trash. I contrasted this with my bottle cap (in my mind), but bit my tongue. <p>Oh, I too was raised to put all silverware in the dishwasher pointy side up - aledgedly that's the only way it gets clean. My W had to unlearn me of that bad habit (like many others). Now, all stuff goes in pointy side down. It seems to get just as clean and no one gets sliced up. Soo... I guess I like her way better. Not like I had a choice.<p>Jeffers

BTW ... Happy Anniversary, Confused&Insecure!<p>Lv,
Jo

I like this thread. I want to talk about socks, too.<p>I have a zillion brown socks (all different kinds, of course). I once made the mistake of commenting that W matched the wrong ones. She's never mated my socks since then... about 20 years ago. <p>I hate worn socks. Rather than rotate I keep wearing the worn socks (the ones I hate) so I can wear them out. Then I can throw them away and have a drawer full of wonderful, new socks.<p>Jeffers

I have good friends here in the Harbor that brew beer. They gave me a bottle, even had a cool label on it ... thing is, it did taste good but it had chewy stuff on the bottom. Quite filling! lol<p>You did good Jeffers ... ain't no stinkin beer bottle cap LBing in your house. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Jo

Clean freak, messy man........ <p>Howz about orderly drawers but messy floors, offices, desks, countertops, tables, etc. My H is not a neat freak by any means. But there a few of his siblings and himself that insist on clean drawers (thats a good thing) but are messy in everything else. Not dirty just messy. Papers everywhere and then yell at me if he can't find anything. I scoop them up and put them in a neat pile, even keeping each section separate and he still yells at me. ...... well he is getting better because, I actually put the papers back where I found it and he got mad said it was messy and then realized it was the way he left it...... hm... <p>Me? I'd settle for a neat freak...... with messy drawers. Not into alphabetizing the canned goods. I do fold the socks and underwear. I even rotate some of his undershirts. But I stopped at ironing hankerchefs like my mom used to. <p>L.

kevco,<p>well, it made me laugh anyway [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>We have a woman at work who's similar to this. She actually photographed the dishwasher with the cups and dishes in a mess and a second one, with the cups and dishes in a nice order. Then, she hung the photos on the wall for everybody to see. She drives me nuts. I try to avoid her as much as possible.<p>This also reminds me of that film with Julia Roberts (I can't remember the name of it) where something similar happens. Anyways, Julia ends up escaping the guy by faking her death. Do you remember it? Hope that's not your fate, kevco [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Anyways, here's a test for you - everytime you go to the dish washer put half the silverware in the front and half of them in the back. Don't focus on which way the points are facing. Then close the door and run - see if you still sleep at nights [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>take care,<p>- Freddy

So hey guys, do you like the tissue and paper towel rolls to dispense over or under???????? [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] This discussion has me ROTFL!<p>I guess this is another blessing I can chalk up--that my husband is not picky about how I handle the household chores. WOW!<p>c&i, I'm so glad you are no longer living under all those rules being treated like a child! Sounds like sheer torture to me! YUCK! Wouldn't it have been funny if you went out and got your ex all the same color socks just to be rebellious so he couldn't TELL if they were rotated or not! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>kevco, the utensils got clean, right? [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] Maybe that was her point? Maybe there was no point other than to prove your pet peeve never made any difference to her? [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>jeffers, at least you are drinking your beers at HOME and not out at some BAR every night all night, right? [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I'm with c&i tho, in the great scheme of things, these petty irritations don't matter one bit... I mean, it's not going to change our lives one way or the other if we have our way just to be getting our way. It doesn't matter which way as long as it gets done!!!

Freddy-- is the name of the Julia Roberts movie you mentioned called Sleeping with the Enemy???

Bin,<p>that's the one [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] isn't the ending great?<p>- Freddy