hi To all, Anyone have any advice on this one?? My mom-inlaw is having surgery on Nov.6, if you are familar with my story my MIL has cancer of the brain and her tumor has come back and they are going to try to remove it again. My H says that he doesn't need me there, which hurts but I understand being we are separated, but part of me wants to be there for her, My MIL and I were never really that close. I think that I am thinking if I were to go it would magically make my WH come out of the fog, [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img] Realizing how short life is and realize what an a** he is being. niether my Wh or my MIL or FIL asked about me being at the hospital when she has the surgery, I suppose it would be inappropriate for me to be there when WH says he doesn't need me to. what do you think??? love Sally

Sad Sally,<p> I know how you feel. I went through a similiar situation. My WS was in the hospital close to death and I was told not to go to the hospital. It took about four other Marines to hold me down. I was going to go no matter what anyone said. I think that you should honor his request not to go to the hospital, but that doesn't mean that you can't send flowers or a card.<p>Indy

Thanks Indy, I will probably not go, and send flowers, I think that is best. love Sally

Just a bump, need more opinions,please [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img]

I am bumping myself up again, to see if I can get more opinions. Thanks Love sally

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Sad Sally:
<strong>....My MIL and I were never really that close. I think that I am thinking if I were to go it would magically make my WH come out of the fog, ... </strong><hr></blockquote><p>I vote for "do not go". 1.You were never close, if you do something now, is it for her or for you ?. 2.It is hard but LB is defined by WS not by you. When WS says stop you stop otherwise it could be potential LB.<p>Send card or flower with a nice thoughtfull words.

Thanks Redhat for your opinion, this is such a tuff decision, but I believe you are right. So far you and indy357 think I should not go

Thanks Redhat for your opinion, this is such a tuff decision, but I believe you are right. So far you and indy357 think I should not go

Thanks Redhat for your opinion, this is such a tuff decision, but I believe you are right. So far you and indy357 think I should not go

Thanks Redhat for your opinion, this is such a tuff decision, but I believe you are right. So far you and indy357 think I should not go

Sorry for the double post [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img]

Sally,<p>I would most definitely NOT GO. This should not be the occasion for you to try and forward your goals in your marriage. This is a time where all the focus needs to be on your MIL, not your broken marriage, and your presence would only be an uncomfortable diversion. Just send her some nice flowers from you and the kids.<p>Dana

Thanks Dana, it's really looking more and more like I am not going, you really put it in perspective for me. Love Sally

Hi SS,
I'd have to agree with the consensus on this. Since you're not very close with MIL, sending a thoughful card or flowers would be appropriate. I suppose it would boil down to if you'd be going for MIL, yourself or your H. Best of luck to you!<p>Paul