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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 2
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 2 |
I found out 4 wks ago that my W was having an A. She says she's stopped which I believe. However, a month prior to finding out she told me she was not in love with me, but still loved me. Seems like a familiar theme from what I've read. We've been working on communication but the last week or two there has been a lot of fighting. She doesn't seem to have patience for my highs and lows. She has cut off all sexual contact although we do hold hands and cuddle. I've asked her to try to once in a while do something to make me feel good or special but she says while she understands she can't seem to be able to do anything. We start counseling tomorrow but I don't know if I have the strength to go on with this. I resent the effort I need to make, not knowing if she'll ever be in love with me. And I resent that she's not putting in the same effort I am. Can anyone help with this?
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 505
Member
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Member
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 505 |
READ...READ...READ all the stuff on this website...Basic Concepts, etc....<p>Go to the JustFoundOut forum and look at the notable posts thread...<p>There are so many stories where there seemed no hope, where it seemed over and recovery has since taken place.<p>The journey is not easy...but then nothing worth having is ever easy...<p>There are many books to recommend...starting with the Harleys' books...Surviving an Affair is essential...<p>Finally, get support for yourself...you may find the need for an anti-depressant...an idea I shrugged off at first, but by week three had to admit to myself I might need it...what a difference it made...<p>Only you can answer the question of do you want to do the work and will it be worth it...sometimes the journey is more important than the destination.
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 877
Member
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Member
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 877 |
sa<p>Welcome to the roller coaster.<p>The advice you have received---to read the stuff posted here is good. Also---post and ask questions...people here are willing to share their experience.<p>A couple of things you should know.<p>1. Your marriage can be saved if you an your W really want to do that.<p>2. It will take a lot of work.<p>3. You as the BS will have to shoulder most of the burden for a long time.<p>4. You will resent it, feel frustrated and want to give up. Don't!<p>5. If you care for your W and your relationship then you need to know that you did your very best to salvage it.<p>6. Refer to #1...it can be done.<p>good luck <p>E<p>[ November 05, 2001: Message edited by: Elad ]</p>
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