<p>[ January 20, 2002: Message edited by: Bunny ]</p>

I'm sorry. I don't feel I can offer any advice. But my heart goes out to you. You deserve so much more then your H is willing/able to give.<p>How are you pulling it all together? You must have an incredible amount of strength. You're children are very lucky.<p>The notion of you being in the way of his control of his life makes me laugh. I picture a pregnant woman, surrounded by 3 children standing on a sidewalk. No. There's not much chance for him to get by at this point to that imagined free life. Imagine that??!! Does he really think he can take it all back?<p>- I'm just beginning plan B. Its really hard so far, but doesn't not mean H and I can't work out shared custody - just requires a bit of work.<p>For me, with only 1 child young enough to be involved - our son goes to H's house after school mid week and H drops him off at my mother's on the weekend. <p>We can do the transitions without interacting. (thats the plan anyway. Like I said, I'm not sure about offering advise - I'm just starting at this stage)<p>Maybe you can work out a similiar arrangement with your H?<p>If he wants shared custody - pick the days - according to the Family's in Transition program they have in our city, the few transitions the kids have to make, the better. So 2 transfers would be optimum. Once from you to him, once from him to you - no extra back and forth trips.<p>Let him feel the weight of the responsibility that your are bearing. <p>Wonder how much energy he will have for an affair after a few weeks of that?<p>((((( 2BMOMOF4 )))))))<p>hugs to you MOM - you deserve many.

2bmomof4,<p>I am sorry you are having to deal with this A stuff, kids and one on the way. That is a lot for anyone to handle. But I would like to say that his claim to be a good dad sounds like he is placating himself so that he will look better in court and convince OW he is a good dad. Your kids even though they are little will know this. <p>Don't stress too much over the kids, they are capable of letting their dad know when he is tryng to pull their little legs. Topie25 had twins during her H's A and they are in recovery. <p>You do what is best for you and your children. Don't make life easy for him. OW will eventually LB him and that will be good. It will help him come to his senses. If you were as bad as he says, he would have left you a long time ago and you would not be pregnant now. So he is babbling and it not worth paying attention to that right now. <p>Take Care,
L.