Well, a letter from WH attorney came today, my heart dropped I really was not expecting it that soon. If you know my story my last update I said he would be sending me papers. I really thought he would wait until after the holidays, I mean how much lower can he go a week before thanksgiving and now I have to come up with 2,000 dollars for a retainer on my lawyer. The letter was horrible to read it said things like your H wants a D and if you don't respond he has informed me to take legal action. how much more do I have to take??? I am totally an emotional wreck I cannot believe after spending 26 yrs. with this person and having children together that he could actually do this and during the hoildays. Any replies or advice would be greatly appreciated.<p> Love Sally

Sad Sally.....this plain sux! And, I agree that his timing stinks [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] One thing that you can do is STALL his efforts at obtaining the divorce. The time elements depend on the state in which you live. As difficult as it is, please try to remember that your H is not himself and not thinking rationally. Stalling his want of a divorce will allow him the time that is necessary to regain his senses. <p>Despite his efforts, have yourself a decent holiday with your children. You and they deserve that at minimal. Hang tough and be strong. Your reward will be forthcoming.....

Hi Sad Sally:<p>What is the point of the lettr...why doesn't he just file. I'm a legal secretary and we usually don't write letters to the opposing party prior to starting a divorce for someone. This sounds strange to me...more like a manuver to get his own way about something...like a threat. What's going on?<p>Faye

Thanks GeezLouise, I don't see how he is thinking rationally. I do not understand his logic and I am not even going to try to figure him out, this whole situation is draining mr completly. His timing could not have been worse. i live in N.Y. Here is does not have any grounds for D I am the one with the grounds, but I am only going to separate I will not agree to a D at this time only a separation thats about the only stalling I can do.<p>
Hi buffy, Thanks for your reply, I really don't know wha the point of this letter means. I do believe he is def. trying to get his own way, but it will not work I am already ahead of him, he thinks I am going to sign anything without a lawyer he is crazy. I do feel that there is something more behind his actions and really don't know what. Thank you for your reply.<p>
Love sally

Oh, now I understand...he has no grounds for a divorce (Texas is a no-fault state)...so he must get you to go along willingly to hurry things along.<p>That's too bad. [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] <p>You're right..don't do anything or sign anything without talking to a lawyer first. The money spent will probably be worth it to stall this thing as long as you can....what with interrogatories and such.<p>Your WH is so in the anger stage...heavy fog...just stall and wait...times is your friend...that and a good attorney.<p>May be the timing is to get you mad enough to just give up and go ahead and divorce him...don't fall into that trap...don't make anything easy for him.<p>Faye

Sally,<p>I'm sorry for the news.<p>Faye is right. Your H is attempting to threaten and intimidate you with this letter into "joining" along in the D using his attorney to save time and money. He thinks he'll expedite what he wants this way.<p>Retain your own attorney, and let your H do all the work. This is his deal, he needs to face reality of all the aspects of seeking a D.<p>I'm really sorry Hon. Get strength here and post to us. We're here for you.<p>Jo

I am sorry Sally for this turn of events. It is hard to figure out isn't it? <p>Hang in there and definitely find a good lawyer--especially one that you can work with. <p>Take care of yourself and the kids. Try not to be totally consumed by this. Do something for yourself and for the kids. <p>This is his choice and his loss.<p>Take care, love. Pat

Hi Sally- as you might remember from my story my H filed for D on me last April at the urging of OW. He kept trying to get me to agree to a dissolution type divorce to save money and time- I told him NO WAY! After 15 yrs of marriage and 3 kids together I knew his rushing was due to panic and pressure on his part - both from his guilt, confusion and pressure from OW. If your H is in heavy fog and angry with you as my H was I really think that TIME will work in YOUR favor. My H tells me now that he really felt I would never take him back or could forgive him- let alone make permanent changes to please him ( he felt my Plan A was a desperation tactic and I would stop it all once he moved back home)so he felt at that time he should divorce me. Thank God he came to his senses after filing on me. Our marriage is better NOW than before his A- go figure!!!! Like your H my H tried to get me so mad that I would want a quick divorce- DONT go for it! lifeismessy

Sally<p>I am so sorry for your pain. Stay strong and we are here for you. Wish the fog was not so thick. Keep us posted.<p>
SLH

Sally,
Sorry to hear this. I saw someone post getting advice from Steve to counter filling and dispute the reasoning from "irrec. diff." which is very quick one in no-fault states. In any case get a good lawyer, never agree to anything w/o lawyer, and stall them to buy time.<p>Hadi