My H's on his icky late night Friday shift, and I am having a rough night. I feel very alone right now.<p>My problems really far surpass MB stuff, but you know how everything touches your marriage.<p>I'm seeing a new counselor next week (thank God, before I go insane!) and that's a very good thing, but I'm kind of scared. <p>Anyway, just wondering if anyone is "out there" to talk to for awhile??

Hiya! I'm just going to hobble on out for a smoke (yuk! I know.. but better outside than in the house).... but I'll be back in a few minutes.<p>Karen

Hello Sheryl:<p>I am here. My H is fast asleep and I am completely awake. Let me know if you want to talk, either here or e-mail works for me.<p>OneDay

Of course, I post this and then promptly get kicked off the internet... figures [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] ... I am not in a good place... there is so much sadness around me, and it just hurts.<p>Let's talk here, okay? Then anyone can jump in...<p>Thanks, friends...

Sheryl,<p>What has you down today?<p>I am feeling down also, but my reasons are pretty obvious (and posted over on "In Recovery").<p>OneDay

I'm back now... what's troubling you hon?

Ya know... it's a culmination (sp?) of so many things, most completely out of my control. I know this should lead me to give it all to God (a'la al-anon, which I have just begun - and it's so hard to give it over, isn't it?)... but I keep yanking it back, even though I know I shouldn't.<p>Sigh. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I go in fits and starts with the posting, and today I posted the most negative and sad thing to this woman who is wondering if she should marry a man with children (and ex problems)... I mean, it's how I feel, but I hate that I feel this way!<p>I used to be funny! And light, and creative, and ... it seems like... honestly... three years ago it all stopped, and I had to begin again finding out who I was. You know?<p>And I'm not even PMS'ing or anything... sheesh...<p>[ November 16, 2001: Message edited by: Nyneve ]</p>

as a PS, I went and read your thread, OneDay, and Twyla said it best:<p>It seems like life never can go right for more than a few days...<p>How did we ever all get to this place?<p>[ November 16, 2001: Message edited by: Nyneve ]</p>

Sheryl,<p>Finding out who you are is very hard work. In fact, it is exhausting. No wonder you have off days (or weeks).<p>I have found you funny, creative and light. But remember, you don't have to be these things all the time!<p>My IC often says that processing feelings is far, far harder than denying their affect. As a result, so many people spend their time "doing" instead of "feeling", and while they might avoid feeling deeply unhappy, they also never face who they are, and at some point, those repressed feelings end up getting the better of them.<p>All of this said, your self-actualization can include occasional coffee breaks. Perhaps you need one?<p>Also, do you find that hanging out here helps your downs or makes them worse?<p>OneDay

Hey All,<p> Well I am here for now. Sorry you are having such a time of it. Seems lately there are a lot of us having it very tuff.<p> You know Sheryl, it really could be worse...... want me to tell you how? When I do you will smile and thank me for reminding you of it.... [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p> jd

Yes, I need a coffee break. I feel kind of like I have been on one for awhile already - or maybe I should say, I **should** have been. I've been unemployed (can't work yet, immigration not complete) for a year, and this should (geez, lots of "shoulds" - this isn't shaping up well)... anyway, this should have been a time for me to grow and learn and relex and... all that junk... but instead... I feel... wrung out.<p>Yes, I am feeling, and I have realized that over the last three years I have "felt" in ways I didn't before, that's for sure.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by OneDay:
<strong>
Also, do you find that hanging out here helps your downs or makes them worse?<p></strong><hr></blockquote><p>Oh yes, and I have pulled away, pulled back in, pulled away... and so on. In the last two months, I have posted (on average) 90% less than the two years that preceeded... and I have tried to stick to the fun posts, or the naughty posts (not good for my spirit, I found) or the posts that I can relate deeply to (abuse, or step-families)... <p>I know, I need to go...<p>I've been reading books and coloring pictures (don't ask, it's my outlet, and Barbi never looked so good! LOL) and writing letters... <p>I don't quite know what to do with me.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by jdmac1:
<strong> You know Sheryl, it really could be worse...... want me to tell you how? When I do you will smile and thank me for reminding you of it.... [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p> jd</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Oh yeah, spill... I need to smile... go ahead... DO IT! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>***edit*** You know, I'm getting so annoyed with my mammoth sig line. So, I'm back to edit it out! Now THERE'S some CONTROL [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img]<p>[ November 16, 2001: Message edited by: Nyneve ]</p>

Karen? Where are you? Hope I didn't scare you away??

Ok, just remember you asked for it....hehe.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>And I'm not even PMS'ing or anything... sheesh...<hr></blockquote><p> Ya could be PMSing right now on top of it all [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/cool.gif" border="0[/img] <p> Told ya so.....lol<p> jd<p>[ November 16, 2001: Message edited by: jdmac1 ]</p>

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by jdmac1:
<strong>Ok, just remember you asked for it....hehe.<p>{quote}And I'm not even PMS'ing or anything... sheesh...{/quote}<p> Ya could be PMSing right now on top of it all [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/cool.gif" border="0[/img] <p> Told ya so.....lol<p> jd</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Well, you just won't believe it, but I laughed OUT LOUD! Yes, you heard that right!!<p>It's almost ovulation time, does that count? LOL

hi sheryl
getting the boot regularly tonight, so no idea how long I will be here. But talk away!!!!!!!!
BTW, how did we get here? We are alive and breathing and that is why we have times of trials and tribulations in our life. It is to be expected right? The buddhist way of thinking..... and sometimes so appropriate.
(((((hugs))))) cl

I'm still here... H was waiting for his buddy to come by... AGAIN!!... so they could go out for a coffee. He wouldnt' stop talking about stuff. I heard all about air miles, Jackie Chan, new song lyrics (from Limp Bizkit and Lincoln Park).<p>Then I had to catch up on what I missed on here (I've started to reply a few times... but then it's been out of context by the time I got back to it... LOL).

HEHE....well, I knew it would make you smile. But to actually get a laugh....hehe. <p> And no, ovulation doesn't count..... [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p> jd

oh man! Ovulation! Maybe that's one of the pains I"m having in my left side right now. I dunno... I thought I would feel a LOT different after getting the clamps on... but I'm just sore.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by cl:
<strong>hi sheryl
getting the boot regularly tonight, so no idea how long I will be here. But talk away!!!!!!!!
BTW, how did we get here? We are alive and breathing and that is why we have times of trials and tribulations in our life. It is to be expected right? The buddhist way of thinking..... and sometimes so appropriate.
(((((hugs))))) cl</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Thanks for the hugs, cl. Here's some back atcha (((((cl)))))<p>Oh, yeah, I like that Buddha thinking, very much. I can "get there" sometimes... but... sigh... not often enough.<p>I'll tell ya, if I seriously sat down and wrote all that's happening in my life right now (and I won't, don't worry) you would be amazed. Not that I'm such a neato-torpedo person or anything, just at the sheer volume of crud I have to deal with -- much of it, to my shame, of my own making (choices, ick)...<p>I am feeling better talking though... so thanks so much for caring and listening...