<p>[ January 05, 2002: Message edited by: needing ]</p>

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{needing}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<p> I am sorry for what he is putting you through. You do not deserve to be in this kind of pain. It sounds like you are doing a great Plan A. Keep it up for awhile longer.<p> I know all about the snooping. I found out so much crap that I didn't think I would be able to get past it and move on. I had my second d-day with OM#2 through snooping. I felt I had the right to know what she was up to, so I snooped.<p> Thing is, it didn't take long to realize that I was the on getting hurt by it. So, I removed the software and quit snooping. It was a hard thing to do, but I have been MUCH better off for it.<p> Sometimes not knowing is a good thing I think. <p> Please stay strong and vent here more often. Sometimes this forum is the only thing that will keep you going. <p> We are here for you needing. Take care of yourself and your child. Things will get better, I promise.<p> jd

Needing,<p>Have you tried just taking the bull by the horns and initiating affection and sex? Have you tried greeting him with a long kiss when he comes home? How about waking him up with oral sex in the morning?<p>Instead of worrying about having an A with someone else, decide to have an A with your H. Do something totally different than you've ever done before. Surprise him. Touch him, hold him. "Use" HIM! Don't wait for him to touch you.<p>Unless he physically and/or verbally restrains you from touching him, you have NOTHING to lose and everything to gain. Don't let fear of rejection keep you from getting what you want. At this point, that fear is just a paper tiger. What is the worst that could happen? Hasn't it already happened?<p>Once I realized that the ultimate rejection (his A) had already happened, all my inhibitions fell away, so at least the physical part of the M has been in great shape since D-day.

Hi<p>JD, thanks for the encouregment, at least a virtual hug is something.<p>Conqueror, I have thought of those things. Thing is, we do not kiss when he comes home, we say hi. I am just so afraid he will tell me no if I try to initiate contact. I don't think I can handle the rejection of a sexual advance on top of everything else.<p>We talked about sex again last night and he did admit that he does have those feelings and that there are nights when he would like to get up out of the spare room and come to me. But he thinks I will think it means everything is OK and he is ready to dive back into working on our M. I don't think this in any way. Sex is one of our problems, but it is the least of them. The only problem with sex is the lack of it. That at least can be fixed pretty easily. I don't know how to convince him it's OK. <p>Maybe I should just get him all liquored up and then jump on him when his defenses are down. HA HA.<p>Thanks for the input though.<p>Needing