I'm divorced as of 3 wks ago. <p>Reason? He had a woman's 'necklace' hanging from rear view mirror in worktruck. Said it was an 'air freshner' - Looked into his eyes - that said it all....<p>He drove off in a hurry - never tried to convince me differently - never called for 4 days - I filed and recd divorce. <p>Now... he's calling every day - says he's hurting and can't function - thought he could walk away from me (like the others) - said he's a mess without me. <p>Confused... We've been talking, just like in the beginning, he's loving, etc., etc. <p>Some people call this 'the honeymoon period.'<p>Say this is 'normal' because he feels he lost me and its his way of 'getting me back.'<p>They say it'll wear off and he'll lose interest, and take it for granted and 'cheat' again. I never did get it proven to me that wasn't an 'air freshner.'<p>Is there such thing as 'honeymoon' period???
The Lord is working all 'bad' things out for the good of those that love Him. <p>I'm letting him - but very devastated inside my heart that there may be no hope, maybe false hope...<p>has anyone heard of this 'honeymoon' thing???
I'm trusting God to work, and if not to my preference of reconciliation, then He'll carry me through the pain (or the fire!!!). <p>Jordan

JM,<p>I really don't know what to say. I'm sorry for your pain.<p>I have heard of the "honeymoon period" but mainly used in the context of recovery. IMO, it doesn't have to be that way, but often is because we humans (especially Americans) are a lazy animal...we often get excited about something, but then as it becomes "usual," the honeymoon ends and we slip into our day to day routine.....the trick is to make that routine, those habits, be fulfilling to ourselves, and each other.<p>I guess at this point, you have to do some soul searching to answer some of life's most important questions.<p>Do you love your H?
Do you want to explore the possibility of rebuilding a M?
Is your H willing to meet your EN (and vice versa)?
Can each of you take responsibility for your parts in the decline of your M?
Can each of you make the necessary changes to save/rebuild the M?<p>Think about these questions and maybe think about posting your answers/feelings. There are MANY helpful people here.<p>What state do you live in anyway? It seems like a DV is maybe TOO easy to attain there? It doesn't sound like you were required to give it much thought, thus allowing snap decisions and emotions to control the situation.<p>My thoughts will be with you tonight.
Kev

Hello, jm,<p>Welcome. If you still love your husband, divorce does not have to be forever.<p>Read the relevant information on the main web site here. Many, many people here have worked through affairs and gone on to recover their marriage. You evidentally separated from your husband rather quickly and before you became aware of Marriage Builders. There is so much help here. If you think you want to try to see if there is anything left to rebuild, get to work reading, reading, reading here. <p>An excellent book written by the Harleys who established this web site is Surviving an Affair. It tells how to rebuild a marriage after the betrayal of one of the spouses by the other. The principles will also work for ex-spouses who what to work things out.<p>Keep posting. You might want to consider posting your questions on the Divorcing and Divorced forum on this site.<p>Best wishes,<p>Estes

hello [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>i recently got and read a GREAT book for people who need help deciding where they are and if its all worth saving!<p>its called
too good to leave / too bad to stay
author mire kirshenbaum<p>i found it TREMENDOUSLY helpful and am going to re-read it again!<p>i got it on amazon.com ...new about $10.00 used $4.00<p>good luck with it all...this is a tough time [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]

BUMP ^^<p>Does anyone have advice for jordan marie? This is not within my experience.<p>Estes

Thank you Kevco, Estes49 and Soulmate11 for all your replies and help...<p>Kevco, the answer to some of your ?'s:
Yes, I love my H (married cuz I didn't want to live w/o him
Yes, I would like to rebuild my M
H is perplexed on how to meet any of my EN
I take responsibility for my faults & parts in decline of M
He hasn't shown any sign of taking any of his...
I can make necessary changes, not so sure of him...<p>Two major problems w/us: He sexually 'comes onto' other women in front of me (frequently!!)<p>and #2 - EVERYTHING just about that he speaks is a lie... cannot believe ANYTHING he says anylonger after 5 yrs. of loving him 'in spite of.' <p>Not sure if these are 'workable' or 'normal' issues to deal with or 'overcome.'<p>Infidelity is one thing, guess I'll never know..<p>by the way, I live in Las Vegas, NV, I'm a born-again Christian and H is not. <p>divorce only takes a few days - I've been contemplating it for 2 yrs or more - may have been angry when obtained, but anger must've been the thing that 'pushed' me to actually do it...<p>Have no answers right now for anything - must just trust in the Lord, He can fix anything I may mess up... <p>thank you all again for your support - I was very surprised and I've been reading Marriage builders for a few weeks now... Have a good day...