I can't believe it. Three days before Thanksgiving. He comes in after a counseling session and says he wants to talk to me. I knew, right away, he was leaving. He needs "time to figure out what he wants". I know many of you have been there, done that. I actually don't feel too bad, and I'm not exactly sure what he told our kids (D12 and S9), but they seem to be doing okay for the moment. So, experienced MB'ers, I know I need to keep busy and take care of myself and the kids. What else can I do? How can I plan A during this? Do I invite him to Thanksgiving dinner? Support, encouragement requested, please. And prayers. Please pray for me and my kids.

Rap, <p>Can you give us a little more of your story. My searches on people's ids is screwed.<p>Did he leave any indication as to where, how long, if he wanted to speak daily/weekly, anything like that? Is there an A involved that you know about? Do you know what EN you've both been failing to meet?<p>IMO, I'd tell him he's still welcome at T-giving, it's a family holiday, and he should be there with the children.<p>If you haven't already, read the links at the bottom of my sig. line below.<p>I will pray for you.
Kev

Kev-<p>Thanks for the reply, and especially the prayers. My Husband has been involved in an EA since Mid-April. Actually, we had a problem last year, with the same woman, a "crush", and I know that all inappropriate behavior did stop for a period of many months. They had to work together again in the spring, and hey, don't we know that love springs eternal? He believes he's found his "soulmate". Of course, that's pretty easy to do, without kids, bills, and real life, eh? I know that contact continues, even though she has moved cross-country (we are in California, she is in New York). I just wish he would make up his mind. But he wasn't here tonight, while our daughter was sobbing in my arms, that she missed him. How do I explain to her? How can I answer the questions? "Will Daddy be at Thanksgiving"? "Will Daddy decide to come home again"? He didn't give any indication how long this may last. He asked if he could call me, and at first I said no, then later I said yes. I don't know what is going to happen at all. And yes, I've read all the Harley's books, I understand the concepts in my brain, I just wish someone could explain it to my heart.

Rapunzel, <p>I am so sorry for the pain that you and your family is going through.<p>I kicked my WS out for a very short time on d-day and the kids were devastated. Mostly my 7yo. The tears were just so painful. All I wanted to do was to tell him what a jerk his dad was, but I refrained [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] That was *so* hard! I am a product of a really bad divorce, so I like to think that I know what *not* to do. <p>I have read Harley's books and his principles and most of what I have read is great. I don't agree with some of it, as I wouldn't be a good Plan A'er. Maybe I am too stubborn, but I feel that if someone doesn't want me, I am certainly not going to force them to. I haven't been exactly in your shoes and can't advise you too much since ya know, I'm the kind of person who would *never* stay with my husband if he had an affair! HA!! Then it happens, and here I am with him still
[img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I pray that everything works out for you and your family. I think that it really bites that he couldn't have waited a few more days until he left. At least for the kids. My friend's dad left their mom on Christmas Day. She hates Christmas.<p>peace~

TL-Thank you for your prayers and words. I know we'll be okay, no matter what. In some ways, for me, this is easier than wondering when he'll come home and what sort of mood he'll be in, etc. The kids are a different story, though. Ah well, we shall prevail.

Dear Rapunzel,<p>I am sorry for the turn of events. Quite common with the EA. Sounds like it is heading to a PA. I know that hurts to hear but actually it could turn out in your favor. For some 'funny' reason reality hits harder after the 'fun' of the PA runs out. I mean, one can 'dream' that the OP is this great person, but we all know that the wrinkles, flabby overhangs, vericose veins, bad habits, etc. are not as easily hidden on daily activities or even in a naked state. Even if the PA is fun in a hotel, it is not so funny if you have to look in the morning and find out 'hey, why does she look so bad? oh yea, she doesn't have all that Tammy Faye Baker cake makeup on'. LOL! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Unless you are like the OW I had to deal with, she like bad morning breathe (she said she inhaled it)and farts in bed. For real...... she even sent an e-mail to prove it. Gotta laugh....
[img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Rap, the offer is still open if you want to talk, we are still neighbors right?<p>Take Care,
L.