<p>[ November 21, 2001: Message edited by: Starchild ]</p>

Star,<p>I don't have a lot of time, need to log onto work for a while, but I wanted to respond and get you the links on my sig line below....read them for a start.<p>Read everything you can on this site, post here often, don't be shy about bumping your post if it gets ignored...especially during this holiday weekend. I'm sure that some of the regulars won't be around.<p>I'll try to get back to your post later this evening, but probably tomorrow.<p>God bless,
Kev

Star, darling,<p>I am so sorry for the pain you are feeling.<p>I do, however, think SO has made it abundantly clear that he is using her, using you, and will continue to do so as it suits his needs. He is, IMO, a bum with little self-worth or self-respect. I think he's keeping you as plan B. Silly, isn't it, that some people think all that glitters really is gold? I think he will get tired of her dependence on him (this is really a very sick relationship, ain't it?) and her domineering but when she pays all the bills, what's he gonna do? And do you really want him back because you're his best deal for a meal ticket at the time? And he obviously will leave again when a better offer comes along. <p>There is such a thing as 'toxic love' and I think that may be the case here. Is it love if it eats you up?<p>I know it hurts. Have you seen a counselor? You and I both know you are better than this situation...you deserve to set yourself free. To open yourself up to the possibility of finding someone who wants to love you and share your life instead of someone who uses you and shares your bank book.