H came round last night - asked me yesterday if he could stay the night - I said, of course. <p>We met for coffee, then went out to dinner which was lovely. Afterward, went to a local pub and had a few drinks, then came home to sort out some bills and a few other tedious things. <p>He said last night that he misses me and he sometimes gets bored. I asked him, jokingly, if he had broken up with the OW yet and he said no, which is what I figured he would say. Other than that, we had good conversation, a few laughs and I managed to keep it upbeat. We touched on the issue of counselling briefly. He has been telling me that he wants to do IC first and then go into MC with me. But so far he hasn't managed to sort out a counsellor for himself. I realise he is scared, but I SO think this needs to be done. The guy is really messed up at the moment and keeps telling me how he has no emotion and feels numb. I am fully aware of his evasion tactics and know that he just doesn't want to "deal" with anything. I am also aware that he will do this in his own time and I need to be patient. Hard to do when you love someone so much. I feel like I'm just sitting back and watching him linger over the self-destruct button. It breaks my heart. <p>Anyway, he did spend the night. We didn't have full-on sex, but dabbled in...erm...other things. (the way to a man's heart isn't through is stomach, let's just put it that way.) He was fine when he woke up this morning. Seemed very comfortable being here, helped himself to yogurt and I made him some coffee. When he left, I got a huge hug and a rather lingering kiss. As he walked out the door, I said "Love you". Almost instantly, he said it back. <p>I was stunned. He's not said this to me since Dday. I don't really know if it was said out of habit or if it was genuine. I didn't ask. I just let him go, closed the door and pondered. <p>So I guess I did okay, but still wondering about the "I love you" thing. He did ring me about a half hour later to tell me he'd missed the bus. Normally, he wouldn't bother, but he seemed cheerful and upbeat, so I'm assuming he didn't kick himself for saying I love you. But then I also assumed he wouldn't cheat on me, so there you go. <p>I guess I'll just carry on doing what I'm doing. I'm getting stronger every day and have definitely seen the effects of Plan A. I just can't help but think that if he gets his bum into counselling and is honest with himself, that fog will blow away quicker than you can say twister.<p>I pray everyday for clarity to be brought to him. I pray that he will stay safe and sane. I do honestly believe that his car crash was sent from above. I know that sounds horrible, but he wasn't hurt and it shocked him into *some* sort of emotion. I read something on another thread that made me laugh. Someone please send an angel his way to give him a good B**ch Slap!<p>Lots of Love, and Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!<p>venusenvy

venusenvy,
Hi just read your post I'm happy for you that you had some quality time with your H. The things we took for granted are the things we long so much for these days. I'm not familiar with your story just wanted to let you know that someone was here today that cares and knows what you are going through.<p>My H and I were separated 7mos. it's nearly a month now that he's been home. Sometimes this is harder than the separation. I truly thought that my M was over after 16 yrs together, 12 married and 3 kids. Please don't give up hope. Continue in Plan A, keep praying and keep posting. Good luck to you. Oh yeah and her's that B**** slap for your H. hehe.
Happy Thanksgiving,
C

V<p>Hang in there you are still doing great. He will come around give him a little more time.<p>Plan A does work. Read my post in recovery What Word Mean...<p>I could not have made it this far without MB<p>Glad you are seeing some things in H<p>The I love you, I feel he did mean it and I say that because of what my H told me last nite (read post)<p>Stay strong and have a great Thanksgiving!!<p>
SLH

[img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>and the sex, that's sometimes fun too [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>hang in there, this is hard on you but it's text book stuff<p>- Freddy

Thanks everyone. Still feeling a bit weird, but still strong. <p>H sent me text messages all day long, telling me things about his day and what's happening with the car. I was out doing some Christmas shopping and we texted each other about gifts to get the family. He even texted me to tell me he's going out with some friends from work again. I replied with my Plan A Response, have a great time and love you loads! But I meant it and didn't feel like I was reading from a script or anything.<p>I guess the weird part is that I'm feeling extremely okay with all this. Being in Plan A actually feels good, believe it or not. I haven't cried in weeks. I realise that has a lot to do with how I feel about myself, but also with the reactions I'm getting from him. His sudden and constant communication with me is baffling, but nice. He is responding to me, initiating contact and letting me touch him. And that "I love you" this morning, while still baffling, was so nice to hear!<p>I'm holding on to hope. I deserve to!<p>The only sad part about today is that it's Thanksgiving. Being American and living in the UK is difficult on this day. I speak to my family back home on the phone and wish so badly that I was there to smell the food, be with my loved ones and even watch some football (which I hate!). <p>Bless you all. And thank you for your continued support. <p>love,
venusenvy