My wife swiped my diary on Monday and I still don't have it back. There were notes about my feelings, counseling sessions with Steve, notes from a lawyer, notes on various plan A activity, notes on what she did and I did with the kids, and notes from things one of her friends told me. Boy was she mad.<p>I asked her Monday night to give it back, just make a copy first if she wanted to. I didn't ask in an LB way, in my opinion. She simply gave me a smirk.<p>I'm inclined to just let it go. I do have proof of her affairs in other places, but I would really like the notes. Also, I think this is a violation that is not the same as snooping to uncover an affair.<p>Any thoughts on a non-LB way to get this back?<p>- Tom

Oh Tmmx,<p>She is trying to pull your strings. Tell her that's ok, you'll just start a new one. Then go ahead and do it. I keep my journal on the computer and periodically take a copy and keep it elsewhere. I haven't had a need to since it is a journal more than a diary. <p>The point is that she wants to hurt you. Why? For some it is the WS way to push the BS to push the WS out. Go figure the confusing logic here. <p>So don't let her push yur buttons. It may make her wonder what you will put in the next one. Hm..... you could drop a hint that it will be juicier and better than the last with even more proof? Hmmm....kinda mean but hey are you really playing on even turf here? Just be careful. Then take that diary and keep it in a safe place. Tell her when she starts acting like your W then you would be more than happy to share your thoughts and feelings with her instead of keeping it in a diary. <p>JMHO,
L.

How RUDE of your W!!!! It's one thing to read through what's there... but to turn around and take it too! That's such childish behaviour!<p>I think you did GREAT in asking for it nicely, and then even suggesting she make a copy of it first if she wants to. I can't think of a response any less selfish than that. Good for you for not losing your cool! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Hopefully she is only keeping it to burn your butt for a while, and hasn't destroyed it or anything like that. [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] I only thought of that as a possibility since you say she 'smirked' at you when you asked for it.<p>Karen

Hi Tmmx,<p>You're very right, it is NOT the same as justifiable snooping on a WS.<p>IMVHO, let your wife keep it if she is so inclined, and start a new Journal/Diary, but hide this one well if the contents within would anger her [LB].<p>To try and MAKE her return it would probably be an LB or a quick trip in that direction. She'd most likely broach the emotionally charged subject regarding it's contents in detail, you'd find yourself defending something she may have completely misunderstood.<p>I'm sorry for your situation. Maybe she'll re-read it so many times that it could cause a Fog-lifting of sorts. You never know.<p>Lv,
Jo

Hi there,<p>I don't think I have posted to you before...<p>Wow, she STOLE the diary from you. Even as a snooping WS, I NEVER stole...just looked, and put it right back. Clearly she has a NEED for that diary, and has been advised to take it. So I would be worried more than the other posters seem to think you should be, especially because of W's smirk. She has something up her sleeve...be careful.<p>Can you prove she stole it? This might be important in the future. Try really hard to come up with some proof that she has it...get some advice on it. That was you personal, private property, which she has no right to peruse, even if within a happy stable marriage, IMHO.<p>Okay, call me paranoid, but I think if she just wanted to know what you have been up to, she could have looked, then put it back. But she TOOK it..can photocopy (you gave her permission, urgh). I'll tell you something. If I had known how my marriage would turn out when I was snooping a year ago, I would have copied everything.<p>Yes I am paranoid about this....watch your back.<p>Love and lots of strengthening healing light,<p>Jacky

Thanks everyone. I've been off the boards and generally out of touch for a few weeks, because it took that long getting phone service in my plan B apartment. Other than that, I'm doing much better since I started plan B.<p>No more news or repercussions on the diary, but I did fax a question to my lawyer about it. Also plan to bring it up with Steve next week.<p>- Tom