After 8 months of neglect towards myself, things have gotten better. The guy she had the a with, who lives 3000 miles away talked to her on the internet and broke things off with her. Now she feels very hurt towards what has happend and now there is room for me! He was a very large stopping block towards our recovery and now that he has ended things, it has been a lot different around here. She did not realize that it was a stopping block until it was ended. I have been very empathetic towards her situation and I have listend to all her pain over the situation. She expressed all her hurt and anger towards her situation and I was there for her. We were sleeping apart for quite some time and now we share the same bed. After her breakup I was consoling her and when I tucked her in she said that she did not want to be alone and since this happend we have been a lot nicer to each other. All my anxiety and fears have been washed away and now she is letting me be more affectionate towards her. She is more enthusiastic towards couple councelling and this makes me feel good. She talks a lot about future plans with us and the family and this gives me great hope. Things are back to normal as she sees it but we still have a long way to go. I want to make love to her so bad and some days I wonder if it will ever come. I am and have been very patient for the last 8 months and now that things are better, I feel good. She wants to do more together and we are reading a good book that was recommended by our therapist. It is called "How to get the love you want". It is very good and informative and we both can relate to most of the topics. I feel great that things have turned around and now that he is out of the picture it will give us time to each other. I asked her for more affection and she said ok but it has not come from her. She said that it is comming to fast for her and at times she feels smothered. I just have to take it slow and be affectionate when I want without asking her first. I find that because of everything I sometimes am afraid to be affectionate. I normaly announce my intentions before I act. I am just going to act without warning and I think she will feel more important and special if things just happen without asking permission. I would like some thoughts from the members on this site and any opinions that I recieve would be a great help.
Crossing my fingers with lots of hope.<p>Slopoke

WOW!<p>Good news slopoke!<p>Now get on that Plan A wagon, and ride it until you drop!!!!<p>A word of advice: do the unexpected...if you never sent her flowers before, or stopped doing it, do it now. Send sms messages, saying just thinking of you. Love her, and do what you know she likes....but do it ALL in temperance. <p>Make it a point to do something at least once a day.<p>I read YEARS ago that seven hugs a day can make the world of difference to how a person feels about themselves. Give her those seven hugs, big, little, in between...physical touch is SO comforting.<p>Lots of love and light,<p>Jacky

I am still very frustrated buy our situation. I feel at times I am not allowed to express myself with flowers. Before she said that those things mean nothing and she also thinks that I am trying to buy her love. I am afraid to act instinctively around her and I should not be afraid to do these things. She also suffers from depression and I find that she does nothing around the house. She sleeps a lot and I have been picking up the slack almost to much. The house is always messy. She does not work and when I come home from work I feel the added work load on me is heavy. I like things to be tidy, and when they are not I automatically take it upon myself to do it all. She gives nothing in return to me. I want her to give me a hug. I wonder if I am asking for to much and I find that my needs are not even being acknowledged at all. I am tired of nothing in return. Sometimes I wonder if she even wants things to work and the biggest thing that I want is her to be affectionate towards me. It feels good to vent in this forum.<p>Slopoke.