Well,I have not been in theese parts for a month or so.I have been busy with the kids and lots of other junk.<p>So to get caught up...Not much has really changed until just last night.She is still living with om.Only difference is now she takes the kids for me every other weekend!<p>So,this weekend,I took a little break.Went out of town and spent some time with a friend of mine.She and the kids picked me up at the greyhound station last night and I asked her a few things...<p>1.are we going to file taxes together.We have 2 kids and not much income so we usually get a decent return.She said yeah if we split it...should we?<p>2.Are we getting a divorce?She said yeah,he and the om are wanting to get married.I was fine with that.Not long ago,I woke up one morning and realized I am going to be ok no matter what happens.I did not cry at all,then or later.<p>3.what about the kids.She said she is not even going to try for them.She said she cant afford them and cant take care of them as well as I can.Why dont she just say I DONT WANT THEM<p>So.she says she will file for the divorce and pay for it.What do i need to do in the mean time.THere is not any property to fight over.SHe does not want the kids.<p>Also,should we file taxes together at tax time?

Hi owen,
Call 1-800-TAX-1040 and ask them what you should do. If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't file together, because you can probably work it out so that you both can get some money. One of you can claim the kids as dependents and the other one could file as head of household--I THINK? I'm not sure, so call and ask the experts at that number.<p>I know you are a Christian, so you won't be cruel, but how come her OM can't take care of all her needs!??????????<p>Why does she need/want half of the money when she all but admitted she doesn't even want her own kids?<p>You sound a lot stronger these days. I'm glad. How are the oscars doing? I bet they were glad to see you come home, huh?! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Why does she want the money?Well,I have realized over the past few months that she is,always has been a greedy so and so.As far as the o.m paying her way,I do not know what their living arrangement is,I do not know who pays for what and frankly I do not care as long as she pays me each week.<p>The fish are great,getting so big!

Well,I called the I.R.S they said we should probably go ahead and file joint this time around.

Owen,<p>I would call the IRS again and talk some more with them. As for the splitting of the return, split it according to each of your incomes. Since, you are raising the children and will have full responsibility for the children after the divorce, I think that splitting the return is not prudent.<p>Further, you may get a better return claiming the children on your return and claiming head of household than married. That is why I said ask again.<p>Recall it is the status of the marriage and family at the end of the year that counts.<p>God Bless,<p>JL

Well,I have been a stay at home dad for the past 3 years so I have nothing to file.As far as splitting it,I told her it would be 75-25,There are 4 of us so she can have the 25%,then I will take care of the kids and my self with the remaining 25%.<p>I also made an appointment to see an attorney this thursday.Its at legal aid,Im pretty much broke right now and since there wont really be any fights,an attorney there should be sufficent.

Good luck, owen. My prayers are with you and your family.<p>Besides, it just dawned on me that you can't do the HoH thing until you are divorced. She could probably claim the dependents on her tax return and then you could file as HoH and that way both of you could benefit at tax time. I'm so sorry for all this having to cross your mind during holiday season. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>God is not finished yet. I was reading someone's post a while back and they said that their parents' divorce brought them the most wonderful stepmom they could ever have asked for. It was a female and I'm sorry I can't remember her name, but she said her mom was cold and distant but her stepmom was a REAL MOTHER TO HER, the mother she never had in her bio mom.<p>I'm not saying this to you to discourage you or shatter your hopes of your W not ever coming out of her fog, but to encourage you that although divorce would be devastating to your family, God will take care of you guys no matter what. I know you still love your wife dearly, but I'm just wondering if you picked the right person to begin with? And if so, then how could she leave you and your kids so easily and not look back?<p>I don't know, owen. What do *I* know? I'm not in your shoes. I'm rambling now. But I just wanted to tell you that God is in control of our lives and He is working it out for our good, no matter what challenges life brings. If you and your wife reconcile it will be great, if you don't then it can still have a good outcome because God is in control and you all still have a destiny in God to fulfill. Keep the faith, no matter what!<p>[ November 27, 2001: Message edited by: BINthereDUNthat ]</p>

Know what,I dont want her to come back anymore.I have found enough stuff around the house that tells me 1 of 2 things or 2 things..<p>either this is not the first affair or this affair has lasted alot longer than she says it has.<p>I have found recipts around the house(before we moved in october),recipts from mens clothes,expensve mens clothes that i never got or knew about,phone numbers and alot of other little details.<p>with the clothes,on the recipt,they were paid for using her debit card.now,the funny thing is...the same time(wrote this stuff down) there was money missing from the bank account,i dont just mean $50 here and there,I mean my daughters entire ssi check,our rent money.<p>so,she told me she had lost her card and someone must of used it as a credit card,well,she claimed she called the bank and had the card cancelled.Well,the same thing happened the next month,no rent money(you can only borrow from parnets so many times) so i contacted the bbb assuming she had actually called the bank<p>well,i got a letter back from the bbb and from the bank stating they had not been contacted..of course she denied everything.<p>anyway...i just do not think i could ever trust her again even if she did want to come home.and i would never be happy.

Well you know what? Your kids are your priority and they deserve to have stability. What you just said is outrageous esp. regarding the SSI checks. That just floors me.<p>I'm so sorry you guys had to go through all this to see your wife's true colors. That is so sad that she would do that--put some OM over her kids and actually threaten their security like that.<p>God will take care of everyone, keep the faith. One day your wife will see the light and come to her senses, but I understand if you are fed up. A person can only take so much and your kids deserve to be protected. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]

Bin.,can I get your e-mail address again,I seem to have lost it and need to tell you a few things in "private"<p>mine is aandosdaddy@aol.com incase you lost it also

Bin.,can I get your e-mail address again,I seem to have lost it and need to tell you a few things in "private"<p>mine is aandosdaddy@aol.com incase you lost it also

Hi owen. You've got mail!