I have been with my wife for almost seven years, married for three. My wife had an affair with a co-worker that lasted a few months and now she is really not sure if she wants to stay with me or to be free. I need some help understand this whole thing. I am going to try to give you the details here in a nut shell and any help that you can give would be really appreciated. In April 1999 we had our second little girl. Everything was looking okay on the horizon, we were getting along well and I could definantely feel the love and connection between us at that point. In September 1999 an opportunity can up for my wife to go back to work. She was not really thrilled to go, but I kinda pressed the issue. She must have been at work for 2 or 3 weeks and met this guy. He started calling the house when I was at work. It irritated me as I felt very jealous. This continued to go on for a long time. Him calling, her staying after work and going to breakfast with him regularily. She would even have sex with me then go out later that morning, as they worked graveyard, and meet with him to talk. She made him a priority in her life over me. I am sure that the fact that I was acting quite childish about the whole thing didn't help matters. We grew more and more distant, living in the same house but bickering all the time and going without sex for months at a time. The whole time this was going on she was telling me that they were just close friends, that they shared alot of the same life experiences. Come to find out, he was having marital problems too. In July through August 2001, they had a sexual affair. I always suspected it but when ever \i brought it up, she turned it around on my insecurities. On thanksgiving day her sister told me and I confronted her and we got it out. She said she felt safe with him etc. She now says that she loves him and she loves me. She sees a future with me but she can't make sense out of her feelings and that she can see a future with him too as a friend etc. So here I am hanging, I don't know what is going to happen, and my inital response was to forgive her and try to resolve the issues. But I don't want to set myself up for heartache when she decides she dosen't want to be with me. There are lot more details, but it would take way to long to type them. What shoould I do, should I go, stay seperate. I want to be loving and supportive and I am, but I want her to realize what she is missing. Help me please! She did repeatedly tell me that I was not fulfilling her emotional needs. What to do!<p>[ November 26, 2001: Message edited by: Timmer ]</p>
