I have read over and over the complaints of persons who crave sex from spouses who seem to have no interest, no libido, no desire, etc.
Has it been the experience of Ws and Hs that while this happens at home, the spouse has the desire for someone outside and performs there wonderfully?<p>In other words: You can't get it up at home, but you can get it up for someone else outside and enjoy it totally.<p>Responses can be supplied by both men and women who have this problem and their spouses who are concerned and are aware that there is no problem outside.<p>Clyde

Here's my opinion although I've never encountered this problem in my home.<p>A married couple having problems outside of the bedroom usually have problems in the bedroom. It's hard to be intimate or even turned on by someone who has you upset.
But go outside the marriage and meet someone new who makes you feel all giddy inside and I seriously doubt you're going to have an problems with desire.

Hi Clyde dont know if this is what you mean or not?
In our 26 years together H has always had a far greater sex drive than me, thats what led to first A 16 years ago and then second A 2 years ago.
Ive never been that bothered about SF and if you keep saying no i suppose you get what you deserve.<p>After A No 1 i tried hard for a while and then slipped back into my old ways, hence A 2.
Anyway long story short, A2 was such a kick in the Butt it totaly changed me and i could not get enough of H.<p>Did all i could to please him in SF it was like a 3 month honeymoon he was so pleased with the new me (he said) so why the latest A i dont know, started as an ego trip and went from there.<p>Anyway to answer you question H is now not interested in Sf here this person that has always turned him on dosent seem to anymore,
my body hasent changed but he dosent seem to want to know all of a sudden.<p>But from what i gather sex is great between them,
it was always great between us (when i was in the mood) H says he is not bothered about SF anymore,
but having known him so long i just dont buy that.
he just isint interested with me.
Dont know if this helps.
Liz

This is the part of this whole thing that has had me confused...<p>My H will tell you that we have not had problems in the bedroom. I have NEVER refused him. He, however, has NOT been in the mood a lot...doesn't use headaches...but he sure has a lot of reflux...<p>It got to the point where I quit initiating because I was tired of feeling rejected...HE STILL MAINTAINS that it wasn't me...it was his reflux...okay...whatever...<p>After d-day, we had s** almost everyday for weeks...until he 'left' and even then he would spend the night a couple nights a week...<p>THIS CONFUSES HIM...he says he's not 'in-love' with me, but has also said that SF is my GREATEST connection with him...go figure...<p>H continues to maintain that it is my failure TO LISTEN to him (read agree with)that has been my biggest failing...

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