Hi Indy!<p>Thanks for asking about me. I'm actually doing pretty well. I don't have anything new really. Still negotiating with H over the settlement issues. I took off my wedding and engagement rings Monday nite. I'm feeling like I'm letting go, and it feels good. I reading a wonderful book that's really helping me, Mars and Venus - Starting Over. It's about healing from a loss of a relationship and moving on with life.. and perhaps to new love one day.<p>I'm glad you're hanging in there. That's quite a milestone... your 1 yr anniversary of separation. I know it's hard for you. I admire you so much for what you are doing... with your kids [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] . You're going to be fine. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Sorry about that phone call lingering in your thoughts... any idea why?<p>Thanks again for checkin on me [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] . See ya later.<p>Faith1

Faith,<p> Sorry about that phone call lingering in your thoughts... any idea why?<p> I think that I might have heard some of my wife in there somewhere. I can't explain it.<p> She called again tonight. It really hurts knowing that I would be with her and the kids tonight if this wasn't happening. I know that I shouldn't be like this a year after later. The conversation was short and to the point. The wierd thing was that I did heard my wife tonight. It wasn't in what was said as was the tone of her voice. She sounded very happy. Almost like she was waiting for me to come home. I just don't know how much more I can take of this.<p>Indy

Orchid.<p> She was just here to drop off the kids. I was in the kitchen doing my taxes. She talked to the kids for a few minutes. After that she asked if she could get the kids on Tuesday. I said no problem. That is when it turned south. Here is the conversation.<p>WW: I would like to know when I could get my stuff. I would like to have it with in the next few weeks. <p>Me: I don't have a problem with that. But, it may be about three weeks. I am getting ready to move. I am waiting on a house right now. <p>WW: No, I want it in two weeks. You have had plenty of time to get it to me. I have had the kids when you didn't have to work and that was when you should have been getting it ready for me.<p>Me: You don't know my schedule. I don't have the time right now. Normally I work on saturdays. I have to take them into the office with me.<p>WW: That is not my problem and I don't care. I am suppose to be the first person that you call when you need someone to watch the kids.<p> She then proceeded to walk out the door. I followed her and asked her what was wrong.<p>WW: I am mad. <p>Me: Why?<p>WW: She went into how I have kept the kids from her and the my YD tells her that she will never see her again. <p>Me: I have not told her that.<p>WW: She said that I have kept her from the kids. I show up to get the kids and you are not here. <p>Me: Saturday was not my fault. I left a very detailed message. I don't leave when you are going to get the kids. You are normally an hour late.<p>WW: I guess that we just have to do what we have to. I guess that you couldn't wait for the child support. I told you a couple of weeks ago that I would get it caught up and what happened. You went to your lawyer and all of that.

She then walked to the van and I stopped her and asked her.<p>Me: What would you have done?<p>WW: I had the kids for four monthes without support from you. I didn't take you to court. You have two weeks to get me my things or I will go to your lawyer or mine.<p> With that she slammed the door and tore out of the parking lot. <p> I wonder if you still see the positive things? I wanted to ask her about the lawyer thing. Considering that she lost her lawyer monthes ago. I wonder if she was just blowwing smoke or not.<p>Indy<p>[ January 17, 2002: Message edited by: INDY_357 ]</p>

Indy,<p>I am confused......she wants you to give her, her stuff? Mad about the child support? Mad about.......?!?!?!? <p>Now you need to stop enabling her. Sounds like a tantrum is brewing. If this were one of your kids what would you do, give in???? Think about it Indy. Treat her civil but don't enable. K? [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>L.

Orchid,<p>Treat her civil but don't enable. K?<p> Is that what I was doing? I thought that I handled it pretty well. I kept calm and didn't even get mad or upset. I kept my voice level and I didn't explode. I guess that we don't have to worry about her feelings for me. I think that conversation handled that. I will try anbe back later today.<p>Indy

INDY_357,
Here I come ... redhat, a pest from norcal [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Do not even see her, do not even talk to her, do not even communicate with her. Ask someone to be the intermidiary. It is to protect you from her !!! I beleive you have a court agreement on when she will have the kids, add an addendum to it to specify that within 15 or 20 minutes you have the right to terminate the visit for that day unless she calls and in your discretionary to accomdate it.<p>Give her back her "stuff", in two weeks. She tries to bother you in your life and make sure that you are not moving on. Don't give her that pleasure, Indy.