As you guys know, the last time I heard from XH he contacted me out of the blue about 3 weeks ago requesting we coordinate him getting the remainder of his stuff, stating he wanted to do it before the holidays as it would be stressful.<p>Then later he backed down and said it was no biggie, he was in no big hurry.<p>I told Lora I thought something was weird about that whole thing. I racked my brain and thought one scenario could be he wanted to get his stuff because he had plans of marrying OW soon, and was worried if he didn't get his things before he married OW I may not relinquish them to him. (remember guys I'm an engineer, I'm always piecing things together in my mind) Lora says I'm paranoid, that he'll never marry her.<p>seems H has purchased a "license" FROM Department of Licensing. I fell asleep tonight and just about 15 mins ago I woke up with this revelation ..... HE BOUGHT A MARRIAGE LICENSE!<p>Do you think that's what it is??????????<p>He told me he wasn't going to marry her, that he didn't love her enough to do that. But why the heck shouldn't I be surprised, he lies about everything.<p>I don't know if anyone is up right now, it's 12:10a here (WA). I'm totally freaking out. I can't sleep now. <p>HELP!!!<p>Jo<p>[ November 30, 2001: Message edited by: Resilient ]</p>

Jo, <p>I'm here. I was just getting ready for bed but I am here. You need to talk?<p>L.

I am up too, can't sleep either - concerns over my job (all there at the women's bible study forum.)<p>Jo, shouldn't you be able to find out the answer to your question via the internet?<p>I have aol IM user name MnCon<p>I'm up, if you wanna visit

Hi Jo - thinking of you. I have no idea what your state or locality processes are, but I imagine you need licenses for any number of things. How did you come upon this info?<p>Even if it is a marriage license, you can deal with it. I validate your pain if it is, but can you imagine this may be exactly what you need to move on?<p>Thinking of you,
Dave<p>[ November 30, 2001: Message edited by: worthatry ]</p>

Go to your states homepage and find the link to the vital statistics page. They will tell you how much a marriage license costs and what the requirements are. There should also be a link to the the regulating agencies if you think H might be getting some other kind of license (contractor, plumber, etc)<p>I have some links that might be helpful, have to get them at work, will try to post them in the next few hours.<p>Take care of yourself.

There are a lot of things someone might need a license for. I don't think most states require blood tests anymore. I do know that in my state a marriage license expires in 30 days if you don't get married. They publish marriage license applications in the paper here, so it's obviously a matter of public record. Wouldn't be too hard to check.

I agree with fairydust. These applications for marriage licenses should be matters of public record and if you really want to check it out, call your county licensing bureau, and ask how you can find out.

Jo, pretend that it is a marriage license. Get out all your anger, come here and vent. Don't wonder or worry about it - it IS ONE as far as you are concerned, k?<p>You don't need to know, pretend he's going to marry the witch so they can both live a miserable, lonely, guilt-ridden marriage for what a year before he starts to cheat on her. Yippee, doesn't that sounds wonderful?<p>And you KNOW it's gonna happen, there is NO question in anyone's mind here that it won't.<p>I know it's easy for me to say, but I think it will help you, like WAT said, maybe it's the closure you need. Use it as if it were.<p>Otherwise, you'll rack your brain for nothing. He has too much power over you. Take control. <p>HbH

Jo...hope this helps...though, you've probably already gone there....<p>Cali<p>http://www.co.clark.wa.us/auditor/marriage.htm

Hi All,<p>Well right after I disconnected from the Internet, my phone was ringing (at 12:00a too!), it was Orchid!!! We talked till 2:00a, helped me fall back asleep to be able to talk to someone ... THANK YOU Orchid, Honey. Thanks for the links too, they did help me!<p>Thanks TnT for responding so quick, since I was on the phone with O, I never had the opportunity to get back to you. Sorry for not getting back to you last night, what's going on with your job, Hon?<p>WAT and HbH, I knew you two would tell me this, and I know it myself too. Just can't help but hurt to think my H loves someone else enough to marry them and spend *the rest of his life with them*. Boggles the mind. HbH, thanks for reminding me he's a schmuck and will certainly cheat again, guess I should be thankful it won't be me he's cheating on next time.<p>LoveHerStill, FairyDust and RJB, you guys are great! I did an exhaustive search on the Internet prior to posting. Some Counties allow on-line searches of Records and some don't, I've narrowed it down to two Counties, either Pierce or Thurston.<p>Cali, you're the Best! The County you gave me was the only local County that had an on-line search of records, and my H and OW weren't in them, but thank you for doing all that ground work to get me the link. You must have done some investigation to know Clark County was local to my area. What a detective!<p>Okay .. so here;s the latest scoop. I did some research and both auto registration and Marriage License are approx $57.50. There's no other kind of License my H would be needing. Next step is to ask OW #1 and/or Ry's Grandmother. I'll be calling her tonight. <p>If I get the news I think I may, you guys will see me on here this week-end. Other than that .. who knows, maybe it's for something we haven't thought of. Regardless, I am prepared and I will be fine. Sad and hurt, but okay eventually. You don't stop loving someone just cuz they stopped loving you, or because they're no longer there everyday. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Love to you All ...
Jo<p>[ November 30, 2001: Message edited by: Resilient ]</p>

Ding, ding, ding--chiming in.<p>You can't build your happiness on someone else's misery...so even if they do get married, it can't be happy, they will never be able to trust each other.

hugs.

I wish I could take credit...but it was just dumb luck on the search engine [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] ...<p>I typed in State of Washington Marriage licenses...that was the first county that popped up...<p>kinda the same way I discovered my H's email accts with OW...though he still tries to say I was 'looking.' Wasn't. Since I teach computer skills, everyone still says he was a big dummy to use our home computer... (by the way I am sorta employed by Intel, too...I am a part of the Microsoft/Intel partnership for the Teach to The Future grant...am an Intel Master Teacher in SoCal.)<p>Head up Jo...be strong...(GO STRAIGHT TO AMAZON...and by "The Mastery of Love" it is time!!)

Wow Jo,<p>News flash! *** DON'T GET MARRIED IN WA! *** IT IS WAY TOO EXPENSIVE TO GET A LICENSE! lol!!!<p>Well Jo, if he is 'dumb bunny' enough to do it, then no power to him! Ok hon? You have certainly been the one who has gone more than your share to help him. His appreciation level is at an all time low. Can he go lower? Probably and you will hurt watching. <p>Jo, I don't know really what to say other than, whatever we can do to help you, just say the word. You have a strong support group for you here. Why? Because you are a GREAT person. Not everyone is as appreciative or loving as they should be. You though, you keep being the loving Jo we know and you will be rewarded in life. Guaranteed. Not by me (cuz' I'm only little - lol [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] ) but by the one who can give rewards the lasting kind.....<p>We are with you all the way, my friend.<p>Love & hugs,
L.