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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 300
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 300 |
<p>[ January 20, 2002: Message edited by: MMMMM ]</p>
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837 |
Hi mylife,<p>Your H's anger needs to stay with him. Yes he did wrong, your kids probably knew that without you telling him. I did not tell my child anything and my H accused me of it, so I said, well I might as well..... my point is, is that let your H stay angry.... at himself. <p>Don't apologize. If your kids ask you questions about your H's actions, direct it to him. This is the reality part of his conduct. It will be hard on all. <p>As much as possible, don't step on that rollercoaster and go on his wild ride. Let him know that his anger is from him and to him and you don't want a part of it. <p>Do it in as calm a manner as possible. Don't over explain yourself. Better to leave him thinking. Just because he is angry now doesn't mean he will stay that way. So don't make any life changing decisions based on his attitude. Make based on your outlook. Pray for a clear mind and a calm heart.<p>Take Care,
L.
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 300
Member
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Member
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 300 |
<p>[ January 20, 2002: Message edited by: MMMMM ]</p>
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 2,909
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 2,909 |
It is hard my life...I too LB'd BIG time around 3-5 months!!<p>I had to get myself in a good place and a place to understand my H. I read A LOT of books! I posted here A LOT! I talked and talked and talked to my friends and family.<p>Now I am at 7 months...it is easier not to LB...I read stuff like Lotsva's posts and it gets even easier...<p>It is better just not to talk to them about it...the marriage...the A...any of it for a while...<p>Now when I talk it is about present behaviors that have been a problem in the past...I talk about it differently...I THINK before I talk and decide WHY I am talking about it and what I think I want from the talk...and I wait until I am sure I can handle what my H has to say...no point in bringing it up, if I am going to fly off the handle.<p>Finally...I KNOW you want the best for your kids and educating them about correct behavior is important...BUT best not to use WH as an example...it is just way too fresh and it only gives him fuel for his fire...<p>Take care.
Cali
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