OW sent gifts to my kids. I don't want to accept it. Any idea how to handle it? The bottomline is I don't want what I do looks like a LB to my H. I should let my brain control my emotion. <p>Thanks.

Does your WS live with you or have his own place?<p>If with you I refused to have the gifts in my house, if he has his own place let them keep the gifts there.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by ontrack:
<strong>OW sent gifts to my kids. I don't want to accept it. Any idea how to handle it? The bottomline is I don't want what I do looks like a LB to my H. I should let my brain control my emotion. <p>Thanks.</strong><hr></blockquote><p>IMVHO, that is disrepect of OW. I would bring it to Salvation Army and get a receipt and send the receipt back to OW. This is not LB. You do not blew up in angry outburst, you do not demand H to do anything ... etc,etc. If H say something or get mad, w/ very calm voice tell H that you are your kid's mom and you decide what is good for them. Just beacuse you are in plan A, you do not have to take everything, it is not a blank check. If H treats it as LB so be it, there is much more value to teach your kid than to accept it.<p>I told my WW never to bring my kid to her performance since OM is playing there or she will see insane husband.

Ontrack ---<p>I read your previous posts. Your husband is expecting you to be buddies with OW and be one big happy group. Boy wouldn't that make things easy for him?!?<p>What an A**hole.<p>You are the mother of your children. You make the decision on whether or not it is in their best interest to receive gifts from a sl*t their father is sleeping with (I say NO in case you couldn't guess!)<p>I love redhats suggestion.<p>Does your H live at home with you?

The audacity of some people!! Have they no shame? I'm sorry but if my W's OP sent my kids a Christmas gift, there'd be hell to pay. I'd never be able to tolerate that level of disrespect. The Salvation Army donation is a very nice idea.

She's already sent them? Do the "Kids" know they exist?? or have they been put up somewhere so nobody knows about them? and again does WS live w/ you or some place else?<p>I ask these things b/c<p>1. If the kids KNOW they have them..then they are
expecting to get them..and this will disappoint them if they don't..(even if it does hurt you)<p>2. If they don't know they exist then you may get away with giving them to Salvation Army..<p>3. If WS happens to take kids around her..she'll ask them about how they liked the gifts..<p>4. If he lives someplace else then he should have them kept at his place..<p>5. Something YOU could do is send them back to her COD, return receipt requested..with a note telling her not to send your children gifts as you are not dead, buried and in the grave - and do not hold a certificate of divorce in your hand as required by biblical standards for your marriage to be considered over...

I would donate them as suggested and tell WH that I could not in good conscience encourage a relationship between OW and my children/

I like TR's number 5. I personlly would drive over them 3 or 4 times and then send them back to her. <p>She has a lotta nerve!!!<p>Needing

That crosses the line. Now she is screwing with your own children. Send the gifts back upopened. I DARE your H to say one thing! I am horrified at the utter contempt and disrespect that the OW shows you and your kids.

redhat has a GREAT suggestion. Take them to the Salvation Army and then send a little note to the stupid OW telling her:<p>Dear Nimrod,<p>Just wanted to let you know that the Salvation Army greatly appreciated the gifts donated in your name. I was sure that was your intention with the gifts you inadvertantly sent over for the children, since I have no doubt that you would know how grossly inappropriate it is to give gifts to the children of a married man. Especially one with whom you are having an illicit affair! And we both know that you would never do something so ill-mannered.<p>The Salvation Army sends their sincere thanks!<p>Best regards,<p>The 'wife'

ahahaah! Melody Lane... I LOVE your little 'note'!! BRILLIANT!!!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]
(I've got a really sarcastic sense of humour too! hehehe)<p>Karen

I think the salvation Army needs the toys more than you and melody lane's idae of the note. But no name calling. I would send her a christmas card that read, Salvation Army loves the toys you gave, now they want you to add a donation, and they wanted to share a tip with you; Leave married men alone ecspecially ones trying to fix there Marriage. It's nice that your so geneouse cause I'm not!!!<p>Ok sorry I got carried away. But If your H has a problem with you giving the gifts away then you could tell him that you have a problem with him giving your heart away. Anther words, You gave him your heart when you married and now he is giving aprt of you and him away to OW.
Good luck, my prayer's are with you. Sherry

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Keep Smiling:
<strong>I think the salvation Army needs the toys more than you and melody lane's idae of the note. But no name calling. </strong><hr></blockquote><p>Sherry is right - don't call her any names or that will ruin the spirit of the note. I just addressed it to 'Nimrod' for our amusement. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]