Last night as I headed for bed, my wife stated that she was asked to spend the day with a freind of hers from church. They are suppose to go to a town that's about an hours drive from here. Being that I can't trust my wife and feel she's been in contact with OM still, even though we are hundreds of miles away, I still felt something was up. So I did a little detective type work and called OM's place of employment posing as a customer....I was told he was going to be out of state until Monday. The state he's traveling to? The same state we are in! Granted it's the whole state, he could be anywhere. But my wife really seemed a bit nervous and insisted I should make plans with our son to keep him busy. Why would it matter to her if we were busy or not? My question is, how to I approach this without coming across as a moron if I'm wrong? I sure don't want to call her friend before hand and ask her if they are really heading there together. I don't want to or am able to follow her all that way. Should I even bother to question her about it tonight? Even if she was doing this, she sure wouldn't admit it. Do I tell her not to go and why I feel this way?

Well, I'm in a mood today .... so I will suggest that you call the "friend" she's supposedly going with and tell her you wanna surprise your wife with a sentimental card, and would she be willing to sneak it in her purse for you during the trip?<P>If the trip's on the up and up ... get a card and get it to the friend! Points scored all over the place.<P>If it's NOT true, you have your proof and you can confront.<P><p>[This message has been edited by Maya (edited September 10, 1999).]

Good suggestion!<P>Problem, I really don't know her friend. I met her once for about 5 minutes. Only know her first name and the car she drives. She is leaving first thing in the morning and I have no time whatsoever to get the info I need in order to try and pull that off.... <BR>Ugh!<BR>Maybe I should just tell her I feel she shouldn't go and tell her my concerns...then try to figure out her reactions.<BR>Damn, I just so tired of still having to deal with these feelings, I's just assume call it quits and not be concerned with it anymore, you know?

Well, crap.<P>I don't know WHAT to tell you now. To question her would be a lovebuster, and we know that ain't good ...<P>Is she taking YOUR car? If so, can you think of a reason for her NOT to take it? (like pull a plug on that carbo thing?) Then tell her to have the friend drive and see what happens.<P>If she's meeting the OM and her car won't work ... her underwear will really be in a wad ...<p>[This message has been edited by Maya (edited September 10, 1999).]

Hmmm, I could try the car deal but it'll be pretty wierd if both cars go on the fritz overnight (she'd just take my car if her's isn't working).<P>Love busters, shmuv busters!<BR>She been feeding me busters for years.<BR>If I just keep my mouth shut and let her go...trying to trust her, I know it'll boil over by the time she gets in at night.<P>I need to just yell!<BR>Would you back me up when the boss calls me into his office for an explaination?....

Well, she CAN'T take your car ... you're suppose to be keeping your son busy!<P>I say pull the plug and let the chips fall where they may.<P>Go ahead and yell. Shoot, it's FRIDAY!

Only an hour away? Perfect...you can keep son busy by driving wife and supposed friend there when other car doesn't work or at least driving to friends to drop her off, then going back for them at end of day.<P>Like the spark plug thing...<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

PERFECT!<P>I cannot WAIT to hear your report on Monday morning!

oh yes, I really REALLY like that spark plug idea. And how NICE you will look when you offer to do all that driving! what a sweetie <p>[This message has been edited by tamis (edited September 10, 1999).]

The spark plug idea is PERFECT! Don't let her talk you into giving up your car....offer to drive her wherever it is she has to go. This will be so unexpected and you will be able to observe the reaction you get out of her. Maybe by her reactions, then you will be able to get an idea if your suspicions about this rendevous with the OM are correct. Best of luck to you!<p>[This message has been edited by NoTrust (edited September 10, 1999).]

NoTrust ... are you saying that Blues wife is GAY? You said OW ....<P>LOL LOL LOL This IS a strange twist!<P>(oopps, you edited it out!)<p>[This message has been edited by Maya (edited September 10, 1999).]

Hi Maya....<P>After I posted, I went back to read my post and noticed my error. So, I edited it. I went back to read my edited post and saw your message.....Too funny! LOL!

LOL<P>You know, Blues, I want you to remember that I was a betrayer myself (in another life you know) ... and I know for a FACT that if she's planning an out-o-town meeting, her car not being able to work will really mess her up. She won't be able to get ahold of OM to tell him she won't be there ...<P>I'm tellin' ya ... she's going to soil herself on this one.

Maya, <BR>You kill me, you do have a way with words, I almost fell of my chair laughing....

What'd I say ? ? ? ? ? <P>Who me ? ? ? ? ?

Blues, I'm telling you it's time for the big BUST!!!!!!! My H went out of town on a meeting (which was legit) but something wasn't right.....so called the ow house (acting like her best friend) and her H told me she was in the same town as my H. H was a little slow since he went to my old home town.....so called my mom who went to his hotel.....B U S T E D Big Time! I would truely try to bust her red handed....will be great in court if you end up going that way.<BR>Trust your gut, it is usually right. Maybe as soon as your wife leaves, call the woman she is going with and come up with some excuse as to why you need to talk to your wife. You'll know right away if she is lying. I can't wait to hear what happens!

Rent a car with dark tinted glass and follow her or hire a P.I. to follow her. If she is meeting the OM it will help make up your mind about what to do next.

Hi Blues<P>Trust you gut instincts here. Blind trust is a fools trust as we all know.<P>Call W's friend right after W leaves and ask her you forgot what your W told you about when they are going to return and where they are going.<P>OR<P>Tell your W last second that you will drive her and find a babysitter. Tell her you want to drive her because you like to be with her and it will be fun.<P>Do not let this day go un-noticed. Truth hurts but not knowing hurts more.<P>Good Luck<BR>_____________________________________________<BR>"Better to die on your feet than live on your knees"

Blues I've been thinking, I feel very strong about you finding out the truth NOW! You have been dealing with more than most of us and I really think it is time for you to know the truth. It's just a little odd that the om in coming to the state. I think you know that your wife is meeting him. Why would you not want to know? Trust me knowing is better than not, because then you will know where you stand. If she is going with another woman, than what you proved is she is telling the truth. And if she is not, then you know that all of these months she is still lying to you. Now is the time Blues, you are strong enough to handle this mess. Either way you are going to be better off. You deserve so much more than this, it is her choice not to work on your marriage, you have to know that it has nothing to do with you at this point. Do what ever you need to do, call his house talk to his wife and try to find out what hotel he is at. Blues please let us know what happens.

what happened?