WS filled out the EN and LB questionaires as Steve had asked. She gave them to me this morning, I don't know if she's sent them to Steve, I don't think she probably has.<p>The EN had a couple of minor surprises for me, mostly in the rank. A couple of things hurt, but at least now I know, so that IF we ever get back together, I can try harder in those areas.<p>The LB questionaire kind of shocks me. I mean, I knew what some of her big ones were, but I've just never understood the EXTENT to which they affect her. Her big one is disrespectful judgements, she hates it when I lecture to her, my tone, my pace of speaking, etc... I want desperately to not do that, but how do I stop when THAT'S not my intent when we talk....<p>What am I supposed to do with these now? I've been trying to meet the EN, and I think I have at least a little (as much as she'll let me). The LB, I've tried to stop, but the big one remains. I don't know how to really even approach that one.<p>K

Well, at least she filled them out---she's willing to work on it at least a little.<p>My H says that same thing---I talk down to him, treat him like he's stupid, treat him like a kid.<p>I'm going to ask him to start identifying for me when he feels like I'm doing that and when he does, I'm gonna stop the train, back up and take the dirt road...<p>I guess I don't realize when he feels that way because he doesn't tell me at the time...I think it's kind of like telling a kid 'wait til your father gets home...by that time they've forgotten what they did.'<p>HTH

kev-<p>I agree with diddallas, this is a good step. Steve had my WW and I on the telephone together and talked about her completed questionnaires. We focused on the top 3 EN and the top 2 LB. For you, believe it or not, it sounds rather easy. There's only one huge roadblock-Disrespectful Judgements. This is a big problem for me and Steve and I have tried to focus on trying not to be a teacher when there isn't a student in the room. It has been veeeeeeerrrrryyy difficult. You and I have so much wisdom to share with our Ws that we can't understand why they wouldn't want to learn from us.<p>Steve used a sandwich analogy with me: try to be very positive at the beginning of the discussion and end on a positive note. I can tell you though, I am a man of few words and this is very difficult for me. I'm more comfortable being a problem solver but my W just wants someone to listen and not fix things.<p>Hang in there is the best advice I can give. If Steve doesn't already have a copy of these lists, then I suggest you make another appointment with him and fax him a copy of these. It sounds like you need his help prioritizing what you need to do next with this information.<p>Just be glad, you're W has give you a plan of how to meet her EN and how to make love deposits. The WS doesn't just share this with anyone. Good luck.<p>HoFS