<p>[ December 10, 2001: Message edited by: TheSadGirl ]</p>

TSG,<p>Let me read to what my wife disclosed to me this morning on her LB questionaire....check it out on the Questionaires page at the top of this page.<p>LB#5 DISHONESTY
cause of unhappiness rating:
5 out of 6<p>frequency:
"? who knows"<p>forms taken:
"- just leaves out info. 'to protect me' or 'to avoid losing me'
- doesn't share day's happenings - won't express an opinion<p>forms causing most unhappiness:
when he decides what I can or cannot handle being told.<p>
TSG, does this sound familiar to you? It should. I think that this is going to be one of the biggest obstacles in any recovery that we hope to acheive. WS has lost trust in ME. That's MY fault, and I cannot do anything really to fix it. I just have to hope that she'll TRY to trust me again someday.<p>I think the only way through this is straight through the middle. If you're holding something back, it WILL affect the outcome, no matter what you may think. There is no way to successfully go around these issues. Please do both of you a favor and come clean 100%.<p>Hope this helps, God's strength to you and your H.<p>Kev

<p>[ December 10, 2001: Message edited by: TheSadGirl ]</p>

Anyone else?

Be truthful. My W still has not filled in many of the details of her A for me and so I find there is no ability to heal and seek closure. By bringing this to your H's attention, it can show him you really care about your M and want to avoid hurting it.<p>I think if you tell him you have not acted on any of your feelings about OM and that he doesn't even know about your feelings, this should prevent your H from wanting to call OM. Tell H you want to feel this way only toward him and that the two of you need to work on M so that you can fulfill each other's needs.

<p>[ December 10, 2001: Message edited by: TheSadGirl ]</p>