I have been married for quite a number of years. It has never been the best of marriages, but we have stuck it out. We have children - getting up in teenage years. In the last several months I lost a little weight and began exercising - just for me. But my husband has suddenly become very jealous and keeps insinuating that I might be having an affair. I don't know when he thinks that I would have the time - between job and kids and all. He, on the other hand, is gone a lot. I would think that the possiblility of him having one could be great. Is it true that the guilty dog barks loudest??? Is he questioning me because of possible infidelity on his part??? I don't know. It just seems strange that after all these years he is suddenly acting so oddly about me. Even took me on a romantic weekend a couple months ago - which has NEVER happened before. Any input would help. Thanks. Nells

I have been sitting here for a few minutes now debating whether to respond to your post or not. Last week Tuesday I was ill and stayed home from work. My WH who I have been separated from for 2.5 months showed up at my door with flowers. Never in our 2 years of marriage has he brought me flowers. <p>That afternoon I confirmed that he was living with a woman. The next day I found out that he was STILL having an affair with the woman I found him with 7 months ago - a different one than the one he is living with. He had denied up and down that they had any contact after D-Day. Now, my WH has problems that run very deep, so that is why I don't know if it is fair to write you. <p>What else do you base your suspicions on?

Nells,<p>Couple of things here. Yes, it is possible that your H is WH. Often, when a spouse wanders, they DO accuse the other of the same as a way to justify their actions....THIS MAY NOT BE THE CASE, so don't panic. Also, YOUR actions are also an indicator of infidelity. Any time a lifestyle change is made, particularly ones that may tend to make you MORE attractive.... losing weight, working out, changing a longtime hairstyle, etc...<p>So, really, both of you have reason to wonder. I seem to remember something from one of the many books I've read about if you're not sure, don't accuse. Go straight to Plan A, discuss your (and his) EN (emotional needs- check on the questionaire page). Begin to meet them, see if your H is willing to work on making your M better. Now, if he resists, that would be another indicator, but nothing definitive. Read everything you can on this site.<p>Good luck, and God bless.
Kev