Plan B is soooo hard! I think I am doing it for myself, but then why does it hurt so much! I have only seen him for a few brief moments over the last 2 weeks. I started plan B because I found out there was still contact with OW. This being the 3rd round, I didn't think I could take any more so went into plan B.<p>Now I am hurting so bad that I don't know if this is the right thing to be doing. I still want him back, so does plan B make sense? He seems to be loving it! He forwarded all the mail to his new PO box, he blocked our bank accounts and opened a new one for him, and he canceled our e-mail accounts and opened a new one for him. He keeps taking out more and more money from our accounts and we are broke!<p>Why is it that the WS thinks they can keep kicking the BS in the face when we are already down? <p>I am very depressed and upset and want him to come home. What is he going through? When will he finally stop to think? He seems to be on a wild rampage right now!<p>Help! What is plan B supposed to do help reconcilliation? That's ALL I want!<p>Le

Plan B is to protect you when the love bank is running dry. From the depth of your emotion displayed here, i don't think you are really ready for Plan B.<p>I was ready, because I feel much better without contact. You feel worse......it is hard, yes, but it is also protecting if you are doing it for the right reasons.<p>I suggest maybe you would feel more comfortable getting back to a Plan A. If that is the case, do so. You can still do a Plan A even if he is seeing OW. <p>Hope this helps.<p>Love and light,<p>Jacky

I'm sorry, you might have been ready for plan B because one sign is that you "can't take any more", and it is to protect yourself. Going back to plan A now would hurt your credibility, because it may very well become necessary later on. <p>I don't know if you should try to go back to plan A or not. In plan B it would be natural to still want your H to come back, and to feel stressed, but partly there should be some feelings of relief at being out of the situation. If there is no feeling like that at all, of relief, then you weren't ready.<p>Another key element is that, starting plan B, you have to accept that it might mean the end of the marriage. If you still can't face the possibility of moving in, then you weren't ready.<p>Maybe you can plan A while separated. He may not want to come back just yet.<p>Next time, before plan B, try to protect yourself better financially. Since you know he will mess with the joint bank accounts, make sure you have money set aside in your own account. If you don't have a job, try to make some arrangements for working after you go into plan B. You can hardly be dependent on him financially and stick to your guns in plan B.<p>- Tom

Jacky/Tom,<p>Thank you for the advice! On one hand, I feel so strong that plan B is the right hting to be doing and on the other hand, I feel wrong about it.<p>I am at the end of my rope when it come to the pain, deceipt, lies . . . but then I still can't imagine moving on without him. I want him to comehome more than anything! I think the main reason that I decided paln B was a good idea is because when I see him, it stirs up so many emotions that I am tired of dealing with! I do feel better not seeing him.<p>I am also scared to death that "out of site-out of mind" will be worse than better.<p>Throughout this whole mess, I have been here as his friend. Listening to him talk about the OW both when things were going good and bad for them. I can't listen to him anymore! It hurts too bad!<p>I definately do not want him back in the house until she is out of the picture, but I also would like to know how he's doing! I don't have a clue if they are together or not. I am asumming they are, but don't really know.<p>You see - I am still confused! I wish there was a perfect plan for all of this!<p>Thanks again,<p>Le