My H says he cannot get OW out of his head. She is saying NO contact and trying to work things out with her H. WOW- halaluhah! I am so happy about this. I am sick over other stuff,his missing her is making me upset over all of this all over again. It is very hard. I have seen him some and things have gotten better between us some... but now he talked to her... and now he says he cannot get her out of his head. I am mad at him over this, and feeling very hurt and dejected. I am so upset that he does not realize what he has done.<p>HELP! I would really appreciate advice on how to deal with spouses withdrawl from ow.<p>Thanks, lisa [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]

Hi there,<p> I feel for you since I think that the withdrawl is the abosolute worst time and torture to watch. However, if there is some way you can detach from this , do it....once he is truly out of withdrawl things should turn around pretty quickly.<p>The problem we had and I see many many times on this board is that continued contact will only put him back to day one......it is H*#@ on the BS. If he doesn't seem to come out of it ,watch for renewed contact. <p>We moved 6hrs. on my insistence and my H was miserable etc. but I then found out he was calling her etc. Once he truly broke that off, it was a REMARKABLE turnaround .....but the time in between was awful. Try not to personalize his moods etc(yeah right,huh?)...he is dealing with the loss(ugh I know), and probably feeling really guilty about what he did. TAke care, LU

Hi Lisa! What I learned here was to get myself busy on anything that required consentration. If you have to concentrate on something you have less time to think of the A. It took me a few weeks but I finally "found" one of my hobbies that I can't do on autopilot. Rockclimbing. Not a sport for everyone but it works for me. Coping for now can be posting here. This site was a lifesaver for me. You can get on here and just explode. I did. And I exploded at God alot too. Still do. He can handle it. How are you & God? Keep posting. Pour out the feelings here. We all need a place to vent with people who understand. This is the place.