<p>[ January 20, 2002: Message edited by: Bunny ]</p>

Hi ML,<p>Here are some links. Some of the threads are from last year. You will may find some of your questions discussed in these various links. I did not read all of them myself. I just did a quick search. <p>Plan B & kids<p>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=37&t=009871<p>Newer and stronger plan b<p><a href="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=37&t=012560&p=2" target="_blank">http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=37&t=012560&p=2[/ URL]<p>
Links of copies of plan b letters:<p>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi....cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=37&t=001857<p>Started plan B<p>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=37&t=001006<p>
Hope this is helpful.
L.<p>[ December 16, 2001: Message edited by: Orchid ]</p>

Sometimes a strict Plan B is next to impossible with minor children. Look at Worthatry, he's a perfect example of how a strict Plan B can backfire. The better option, IMHO, is to act "as if" divorced. You behave exactly as you would if you were going through a civil divorce. Would you be friendly and bend over backwards for your cheating spouse? No, but you can certainly make unemotional, fair arrangements regarding the kids and go about living your life for you. The key is to live your life for you and leave WS out of the picture until they are ready to dump OP and commit to rebuilding the marriage.Good luck to you!

K-<p>I started Plan B 3 weeks ago and have 2 kids. Actually my WH seems to be a better Plan Ber than me! I am so worried about the kids that I e-mail him all the time telling him about sporting events they win, things they say and things they do.<p>It's hard because, he hasn't called them or made any arrangements to see them yet. They are 10 & 14 and are very hurt.<p>When I started Plan B and told him I didn't want any contact, I didn't think he'd enjoy it this much! The only time I hear from him is when he wants more money or wants something from the house.<p>So anyway, just wanted to let you know that with kids it's hard! They should be the last ones to suffer, but unfortunately they seem to go through the most!<p>We do all of our communicating through e-mail. I couldn't ask someone to be in the middle of this mess, so I think this is best. I try to keep the messages short and sweet. Of course I still want him to come home, so I am cautious about what I write.<p>I am rambling and this probably doesn't help you much. It's not easy, but it helps not having to see him all the time!<p>Le

I tried Plan B twice, I couldn't keep the contact to a minimum. But our last separation (#7) I did pretty much what mthrrhbard suggests.<p>For a couple months, my H didn't have a suitable place to take the kids, and adoslescents/teenagers have homework and can't be off to the mall twice a week. So they'd be at my house, I'd go or stay, join them or not, as I felt like it. I thought if he wanted time all alone with them, he could ask me or take them out.<p>Keep your boundaries, you aren't his best friend, his counselor, his lover. Just the co-parent.<p>We reconciled after a 5 month separation, the last month included a lot more family time.