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Estes49 Offline OP
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Does anyone know what action, if any, the military might take toward an officer (lieutenant) who is involved in adultery?<p>I have heard conflicting opinions from it being a serious concern to not being a big deal any more.<p>My DIL's OM is in the AF. My son wants to contact OM's superiors.<p>Anyone have experience with this? Thanks.<p>Estes

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In my case, my H was an officer in the AF. It was really looked down upon to have an affair, especially with someone else like a subordinate. I knew of a couple who were given article 15s an depending on whether they lied about it--they could go to jail for conduct unbecoming of an officer.<p>I chose not to turn my H in because he told me that by losing his career, I would also be hurting my family. Now, I wish I would have done it the first time. His first affair was with a Northrup representative who was the head of training. My H. went from dealing with her at the Pentagon to coming here and being associated with the training unit here on base. Conflict of interest there that I am sure would have gotten him kicked out of the military. His next affair was with an AF captain. Definitely a no no. Then he had an affair with another Northrup individual. Now he is with the airlines. Guess Northwest doesn't mind affairs. No repercussions now--and he knows it.

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Estes,
I just posted and lost it somewhere so let me try again.<p>In my 20 + years with the AF, I have seen it go both ways.<p>Is your DIL or son in the AF? or just the OM? Is the OM married? You said Lt, that is not very high ranking more then likely he would get a slap on the wrist and told not to play with other peoples toys.<p>Your son would need to have substantial proof, to get there attention.<p>You can call info and get the number for the base operator and ask to be put thru to the legal office on base and pose the question to them without giving details or names.<p>Don't know if this has helped or confused you even more, it's not cut and dry.<p>Your son is very lucky to have so much support in you, I hope that you have found help for yourself by coming here and posting!!!<p>Dawn

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Estes49 Offline OP
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MnM and daybreak,<p>Thank you so much for your replies. The OM is divorced twice. My DIL is not in the military.
He is a former BF of DIL from HS.<p>Friday was my son's last day at a wonderful job. He packed a rental truck to relocate to the state where she moved to be with OM.<p>Friday night lonely DIL contacted OM which led to dinner, dancing, and other things [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] . <p>My son has given up everything he valued in his "old" life to try to save his M, and she does this. He will drive today to other state to see if there is anything left to salvage. He has a three year old son.<p>Thanks for the support.<p>Estes

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Just a thought. Don't report it the normal way, if you choose to. Call the Secretary of the Air Force in Wash DC. You can go through a Senator via a letter. Make an on base report to the military police. I think that there are better ways to handle it, but if you want to choose that route, go at it in the hardest way possible.

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Estes49 Offline OP
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Wow spt_fl,<p>Go after it with the big guns, huh. S is so mad he just might do this! He knows it would be a MAJOR LB, but he told her months ago that he would do this if there was contact again. BS have to set boundaries somewhere. Thank you for the idea.<p>Got to go to school now. The kids have finals Wed. and Thurs. Be back this evening. <p>Estes

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I know of a Col. who was passed over for promotion to General several times, based mainly on his not-so-stellar home life. Affairs in the military can ruin a career.

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I was an active du`ty Army officer for 5 years and my SIL is a LTC in the Air Force and is an attorney. The best place to get advice on this issue is from the Staff Judge Advocate General's (JAG) office on base. Adultery is punishable under Article 134 of the Uniform Code of Military Justice. Article 134 simply prohibits conduct which is of a nature to bring discredit upon the armed forces, or conduct which is prejudicial to good order and discipline. The Uniform Code of Military Justice is a federal statute passed by Congress defining adultery to be a crime. <p>Adultery, as a military offense, is difficult to prosecute (legally) for several reasons. There are three "Elements of Proof" for the offense of Adultery in the Military:<p>(1) That the accused wrongfully had sexual intercourse with a certain person;<p>(2) That, at the time, the accused or the other person was married to someone else; and<p>(3) That, under the circumstances, the conduct of the accused was to the prejudice of good order and discipline in the armed forces or was of a nature to bring discredit upon the armed forces.<p>Element #2 is usually pretty easy for the government to prove. There is normally sufficient written evidence to prove whether or not someone is legally married. (Many folks will be surprised to learn that in the military, a single person can be charged with the crime of adultery).<p>Element #1 can be very hard to prove. Remember, a court martial (like civilian court) requires *proof* beyond a reasonable doubt. Proof of sexual intercourse normally requires photographs, a confession of one of the parties involved, an eye-witness, or other legally admissible proof. The mere fact that someone stayed over at another individuals house, or even slept with them in the same bed is not proof of sexual intercourse.<p>Element #3, in many cases, can be the most difficult item to prove. The government must show that the individual's conduct had some direct negative impact on the military. This normally would include cases of fraternization (officer & enlisted) or a relationship with another military member, or a military spouse.<p>(to read MCM paragraph 60 go here >>> http://usmilitary.about.com/library/milinfo/bladulterydefinition.htm )<p>This officer, be he a LT or an LTC, has received numerous hours of instruction on military justice and standards of conduct. If this officer can't behave in an appropriate manner, then he needs to get out. Being a LT doesn't matter. If he can't have the integrity to keep his fly zipped around married women, what will his integrity be when it comes to making decisions in combat or for the welfare of his troops? It is obvious that this type of selfish, arrogant behavior has no place in military service. <p>The number of Air Force courts martial for adultery rose from 20 in 1986 to 67 ten years later. Most adultery prosecutions have resulted in guilty verdicts. In addition to the Elements of Proof, the "Explanation" section of paragraph 62 of the Manual for Courts Martial (MCM) now requires that cases of adultery be handled at the lowest appropriate level. This requirement, along with the included list of factors a commander is supposed to use to investigate an allegation of adultery, is fairly new. It was added in 1998 (after the Kelly Flynn case). Partially because of Kelly Flynn, (and possibly because of the Commander-in-Chief's situation with Monica Lewinski), then Secretary of Defense William Cohen spear-headed the change. This means that most cases of alleged adultery will normally be handled by informal, or administrative means, rather than by court martial or article 15 (nonjudicial punishment). Unless, of course, there are extenuating circumstances, such as fraternization or sex with a minor.<p>This does not mean, however, that service members are free to shack up with whomever they please. Commanders have a lot of discretion when it comes to administrative procedures, and administrative actions (such as reprimands, denial of promotions, performance report remarks, etc.) are not governed by the relatively strict legal requirements of the UCMJ or MCM.<p>Having been an active duty Army officer, I have no patience or sympathy for anyone in a leadership position behaving in this manner. You are held to high moral and ethical standards when you accept the honor of being commissioned as an officer in the Armed Forces. The Air Force has a mission to accomplish, and when you voluntarily come into the Air Force, you come into it on their terms. You&#8217;re not free to do everything you&#8217;re free to do when you&#8217;re a civilian. You give up a lot of the liberties that civilians enjoy, and that&#8217;s part of what military service entails. <p>At least the military puts some teeth into punishing adulterers if it is discovered but it can't be discovered if your son does not report it! I certainly think reporting it to the officer's commander is a first step but, wow, you have to have some proof.<p>Hope this helps,<p>Bluebird [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

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Estes49 Offline OP
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TTF, I suspect the OM might get just a reprimand since my DIL is not military. It is reassuring as Bluebird said that the military tends to hold their people to a higher standard than civilians.<p>Bluebird,<p>Thank you for the detailed information. We are all set on points #1 and #2, most recently Friday night by her admission!!! #3 is tougher because DIL is not military.<p>This "man" is more promiscuous than an alley cat. Bounces from one woman to another, living off his current woman. He is an amoral opportunist, and my DIL is letting herself be used by this man. It is destroying her, my son and their little boy.<p>So do you think that reporting OM's behavior is the right thing to do? I know my son is motivated by wanting OM to be punished. Can't blame him there. But is there other good that can come from reporting? I know that DIL will resent it greatly. Several of you have said the military can't fix it if they don't know.<p>from Bluebird:
" If this officer can't behave in an appropriate manner, then he needs to get out. Being a LT doesn't matter. If he can't have the integrity to keep his fly zipped around married women, what will his integrity be when it comes to making decisions in combat or for the welfare of his troops? It is obvious that this type of selfish, arrogant behavior has no place in military service."<p>I so agree!<p>Thanks everyone,
Estes

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My cousin is an OW turned bride-to-be. Her MM was in the military (now retired). The BS (MM's W) was so upset when she found out about the A that she reported it.<p>MM was called on the carpet and basically told "stop!" Nothing else ever really came of it. <p>I'm not sure if punishment varies according to rank, but in this case it was merely a slap on the wrist. It would have been an easy case to prove as the MM and my cousin had a child together.<p>Estes, Sadly, it sounds as thought your DIL in not ready to be a wife again.<p>Good luck!

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Estes, In 20 years in the AF, I've seen it go both ways. Usually it hinges on the "good order and disipline" aspects. If the A has a direct impact on displine or moral (I.E. sleeping with a subbordinate or subbordinate's spouse or co-workers spouse etc) it's usually handled in a much more direct and immediate manner. They're told to stop and action will be taken (usually under failure to obey a direct order rather than adultery). <p>Barring a direct impact to disipline or moral, it's usually a "stop doing it or at least stop getting caught" situation. I've not seen but 1 or 2 people charged directly for adultery.

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Estes49 Offline OP
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It surely seems that way, Katie. I was being hopeful yet realistic in my expectations. MB certainly teaches us to expect backsliding like this. Sadly, my son is on the road, as we speak, moving to her state to be with her. He now has to consider renting an apt instead, filing for divorce, and/or giving her more time to emerge from the fog. If it weren't for their child, I think he would give it up. He's feeling so defeated. He has no positive feelings for her any more.<p>sofar2go,
I think son would be satisfied to simply make life unpleasant for OM around the base because his behavior is causing unpleasant complaints. <p>Estes

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My WH is an officer in the Army and in their law books it says "Strait to Levenworth, so not pass go do not collect $100". However, they don't follow it to that extreme anymore. Usually just a slap on the hand. It can be more intense if the affair is with another lower ranking military person.<p>Le

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Estes, so sorry about your situation. Although the military code of justice may take a stand against it, as a Marine Corps wife I can attest to the exact opposite. The pilots go on dets and are given a lecture by the commanding officer "What goes on det, stays on det."Translation: screw around all you want while we are not at our own base, we all do it, and no one is the wiser. Makes me want to throw up. So much for "The few the proud." Only when the officers fool around with enlisted personel do they do anything about it. Ladysing

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Estes,<p>Well, I cannot resist chiming in on this one. I grew up in the AF, was in the AF for almost 6 years and my life long friend was a JAG in the AF for 30 years.<p>You have been given the straight stuff about the laws for adultery. You have also been told that they have been watered down, by the last administration. All of this is true.<p>But, I will tell you in my experience Article 15's or reduced Officer Effectiveness Reports (the basis for promotion) are often handed out, especially when an Officer is having an affair with a married woman. It comes down to the "good order" issue. You see a married woman has a husband, it doesn't serve "good order" if the offended H messes up the OM or even just distracts him from his job with this stuff.<p>I have and so have some of my fellow officers brought up Article 15's or noted in the effectiveness reports such behavior, and none of these men made the next promotion board. Does it always happen this way? No! <p>But, I strongly feel your Son should contact this man's commander and express his deep displeasure with his behavior with your S's wife. I would also make sure that the JAG office knows. <p>This man shouldn't be in the AF. I realize that someone pointed out the Marines when detached sometime look the other way. I don't condone this but what needs to be understood, there isn't an angry H wandering around or the reaction would be different. If there is an angry W wandering around and talking to commanders and JAG's, I suspect some response besides a "don't do it again" may be forthcoming.<p>Estes, either way your S's marriage may be over, but he would be doing this country a service to at least alert the AF to this man's behavior(multiple affairs, etc). His behavior makes him a great security risk (blackmail, etc), and casts great doubt about whether he should be allowed around machines capable of killing hundreds, perhaps thousands, and even millions (depending on his job).<p>That is my $0.02<p>God Bless,<p>JL

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Estes49 Offline OP
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What a wealth of information you all have. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. I appreciate the info on JAG.<p>"Strait to Levenworth, so not pass go do not collect $100" Very funny, Le. I too had heard that the real response is superficial. I am sorry that you have had to experience multiple d-days. It hurts so badly.<p>Ladysing58, I would think that it would be easy for military spouses who stay behind to become uneasy when their spouses are away.<p>JL, thanks for the information. I believe that it was Article 15 and the Officer Effectiveness Report than my son told me about. That's where he was expecting to see an effect on OM. <p>This really made me think:
from Just Learning
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>His behavior makes him a great security risk (blackmail, etc), and casts great doubt about whether he should be allowed around machines capable of killing hundreds, perhaps thousands, and even millions (depending on his job). <hr></blockquote><p>And now I understand about the "good order" being threatened by an angry BH.<p>I'll let everyone know how this turns out.<p>Estes<p>[ December 17, 2001: Message edited by: Estes49 ]</p>

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In his first marriage, my H was kicked out of the Navy Seals because his W labeled him an adulterer (even though she was living with another man at the time! [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] ) They considered her a "security risk" so they gave him a discharge.

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Carolina Belle, I think it remember a reference to this situation in one of your earlier posts but didn't know the branch was the SEALS.<p>Do military men tend to become involved in more EMAs than non-military? Is their attraction the "I'm in control of the situation" attitude from their training? The authority thing? My DIL seems to be attracted to OM's "take charge" personality.<p>Just wondering,
Estes

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Estes, I was not "uneasy" until I discovered that my Marine Corps pilot H was sleeping with an AF officers wife while he was on det and my H was on det at their base. My primary concern is that I was told that the Commanding officer not only looked the other way, but encouraged the guys to do whatever they wanted because they had a strict "honor code." I would definately tell anyone in the AF who might listen and help. I hope they have more morality than the Marine Corps.

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"honorcode" !!! Puh-leeze. Save us from such honor, the "honor among thieves" type, huh.<p>Estes

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