I'd like to hear from anyone that has gone to plan B and it helped them save their marriage. If so, what were the circumstances? What happened? How did your WS respond? What was the time frame?
She filed for D last month, but I haven't responded yet and we are still living together.
She hasn't metioned D since the day she told me she filed.<p>sad dad<p>[ December 17, 2001: Message edited by: sad dad ]<p>[ December 17, 2001: Message edited by: sad dad ]</p>

hey sad dad...you might post this on recovery...I know I have read of stories of those who have gone to plan b there...<p>Cali

Hi sd,<p>Sorry can't give you a succes story yet...but check the threads I posted. They could help you to give some answers. <p>I would also appreciate to hear more of those success stories (Plan B is always ending in success, with or without WS!!)
But anyway more of those reconciliation stories.

Hi Sad Dad,<p> I went to Plan B after 2 different Ddays and I had enough. This was in 1999. 2 weeks after I told him to leave and sent him the Plan B letter he asked to come back and would meet all of my conditions for recovery.<p>I really was planning on a longer time frame to be in Plan B but it really shook him up. One of the main things is to send the letter explaining what and why you are doing (I used SAA's example). ALSo I think one needs to be really firm and committed to doing Plan B since the WS will try to have it both ways. The minute I took myself completely out of my H's life he seemed to come to.<p>Don't get me wrong , recovery was still tough and
we moved 6hrs. away to start over. It's now 21/2 years later and we are both happy.......LU

Sad dad,<p>I think you're familiar with my story, so I'll keep it brief. I used Plan A and B successfully, but the circumstances were a bit different than usual.<p>Plan A for 6 months.
Plan B for 2 months (I left).<p>The kids were very unhappy with me leaving. I did pretty good at taking them for weekends, as well as visiting them one night a week (while my wife left the house). It wasn't a perfect plan B as far as the "no contact", and this wasn't horrible, but it did give me too much of an opportunity to lovebust (that's why I urge you to try to really stick to the no-contact clause).<p>My wayward wife responded by getting pregnant by the OM. That gave a heapin' helpin' of reality to fantasy-land. I returned to the house under a Plan A, even though the affair wasn't over. I was pretty sure that it was a great opportunity to reconcile, and that the OM would blow it. He did.<p>My wife took about 2 months after I returned to end the affair, and spent another 2-3 months in withdrawal.<p>But hey, she only spent about 8 hours in labor!<p> [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Merry Christmas!

The key to Plan B is to be ready to let go. To come to a place where you know you will be happy with or without them. <p>See my signature line - everytime there is contact I move to Plan B and he does come back within about a month but usually I don't want him then and it takes time for me to be sure THIS Time he has changed. <p>Anyway, I know I can live without him and that helps me to set appropriate boundaries. We have been in recovery 3 months now. I don't call it a successful Plan B because I got him back - I call it a successful Plan B because it helped me regain my sanity and respect myself and love myself enough and know myself enough to know what I can and can not live with (what is acceptable in my world and what is not - that I have choices and some control over what I allow in my life). Hopefully, a year or 2 from now I can say it was successful in rebuilding my marriage but I think it is too soon right now to say.

well, I skipped Plan A altogether and jumped to a home made version of Plan B, which went something like this: "GET OUT"<p>He moped around for a few days looking for a place to go and then begged me to stay. I think ending the marriage and asking him to move shook him up very badly. He has shown me a new level of devotion and love ever since. We are now over a year into recovery and he has been a perfect and doting husband ever since. I check out his computer activities from time to time so I know he has stayed clean as a whistle all this time.