Steve H. Suggests a Plan B leter w/out demands,
Any feed back or comments would be appriciated.<p>Wife
Much has happened in the past year, it has been a difficult one, for both of us and unfortunately for our children. Even with what has happened I still love you and want the opportunity to repair our relationship. I want this despite knowing of your relationships and intimacy with 2 other men. See, I am painfully aware that I was not meeting your most important needs; in fact towards the end of last year I can only identify one of your needs I was meeting as a husband, and I apologize for my part in creating an environment that you did not and could not live in and one that made these relationships possible.<p>During the last nine months, the cards and letters I send expressing my love came from the bottom of my heart. I have been reading and learning about relationships and marriage, trying to understand where I failed. I now understand that we allowed our relationship to be un-nurtured for too long. We did not spend the time being a loving couple, did not communicate effectively, and most importantly, did not plan our life together. It’s easy to see now but easy to ignore then, we were more like roommates. This does not mean it is too late to begin rebuilding our marriage and deepening the love we developed for each other, I can’t imagine any one else duplicating the love affair we had, for either one of us. <p>I know that what I have learned has taught me that by focusing on meeting each other’s needs in the future, we can have a much healthier and more satisfying relationship then we ever had, I know our marriage can thrive. Although I have a lot more work to do on me, I have learned and continued to learn from my mistakes and continue to make changes in myself. I am enjoying many aspects of my life, especially our beautiful children, my new job and I am excited about my future. <p>More than else in this world, I want you to be a part of my future, as my partner, soul mate and loving wife. I would like to put the mistakes behind us and build a better life and family together as a team. I want us to learn to meet each other’s needs and avoid making the same mistakes that got us to that ugly place and the place we currently find ourselves. I want to work with you to create the kind of life that is better then either one of us ever dreamed of. It won’t be easy and it wont happen over night, but one thing I know for sure, together we are a intelligent, strong and dynamitic team that cam make it happen. I also know, we owe it to our children to try this program in making our marriage work. Choosing not to try is this is the easy way out and it leaves the same problems unsolved and creates more difficult ones in the future. <p>This past year was the most emotionally traumatic period of my life. Despite the constant pain that I felt, I continued to maintain hope that we could reconcile. Even while being involved with Shelly, I continued to hope we could reconcile. I worked in the marriage builders program and endured this emotional distress because I had one gold in mind that was to restore our marriage and our family and recreate it together into what can be a wonderful life. Recreate is an important word hear because as human beings we possess the ability to change, to recreate and improve our-selves, to learn from our mistakes. <p>You realize that I am mad, but I’m not sure you know why, that’s ok for now, but one thing I have learned is; that when I am mad I need to protect you from me. So in compliance with our agreement and an effort to not have any angry outbursts I will protect you from me. Additionally it is difficult to speak with you as it hurts so much, so I will minimize all contact with you. Please initiate contact with me via e-mail or voice mail. As we get into a plan and as I continue to work with Steve Harley I am confident I will improve, but until then this will help me keep focus on me anf the work I must do to change. I will call each evening between 7:30 and 8:00 please have daughter answer the phone. If you would like the same courtesy, kindly inform me as to when you will be calling to speak with the Keri. Of course, in the event of an emergency I shall suspend this request. If there is a problem with the schedule, please leave a voice message on both cell and home phone. <p>I hope you understand I am not doing this to hurt or punish you. This is something I must do to protect you from me and to protect my self and my feelings. It is also a necessary step to allow me to emotionally heal from the pain I have experienced since February, and especially May. I ask you to please respect my decision to separate in this way.<p>I want you to be my wife, and I want us to be the untied parents for daughter and son the both of us always wanted to be, together, in a happy marriage, as a happy family. daughter, son and myself can help you become happy for the rest of your life. We are a permanent reality, committed to you forever, that will never change. Similarly you can make the three of us very happy. We want and need you to be at home, with all of us together. I will support any need you have in a non-judgmental manner, if and when you recommit to our marriage. Even if you are not sure I will try and understand and provide empathy.<p>I want more than anything to be your best friend again, someone who is always there for you when you need me. And I want you as my best friend. I want to spend the rest of my life being your loving husband, and providing you with the love, affection, and deep caring you deserve.<p>I feel like I spent my whole life loving you, it took me 34 years to find you, and I spent the next 6 with you. As I reflect on the past and the future I know I made the right choice, I found the woman that I want to spend the rest of my life with. That woman is you. I fell madly in love with you when we were brought together and love you up to this moment. <p>I hope you understand my decision. I am doing it to protect you and us and the love that I have for you. This is the only way I know to protect the love I have for you. <p>I love you,
