Just a brief vent. Last weekend was the absolute pits, and this past weekend, my WS was extremely nice. Been told individuals with the problem S has cannot be trusted when they are nice because something worse is coming. With Christmas and family gatherings coming up next week, I'm concerned about the accuracy of that statement. <p>Also, WS's work holiday party is on Friday. Of course WS has said it is employees only. This is very convenient for OP and S because OP is a coworker. OP probably planned it this way on purpose. Just from what I know, there are a lot of coworker A's going on at this company.<p>Originally, S said not going; now the tune has changed. Don't really care if S goes or not, because even if S doesn't, I think S will be with OP. They will both just go somewhere else.<p>I'm trying very hard to keep things on even keel so that we can enjoy what may be our last Christmas together. I've done much soul searching, and with the problems I believe my S has, and after 20 years of trying to deal with it, I'm exhausted. My trust has been totally destroyed, and I don't think it's fair to either of us to live this way anymore. <p>I'm not looking forward to packing it in, but WS has not given me much of a choice. There's been no effort on S's part to stop the lies and games.
I have no doubt there will never be radical honesty in our relationship; S is just not capable of it. <p>My counselor has told me we will never have a meaningful adult to adult conversation because S is just not capable of it. I've also been told that the condition will worsen as S ages. After what I've been through in the past 6 months, let alone the past 20 years, I just don't think I have it in me.<p>Hugs to all who are in the midst of turmoil this holiday season. I just keep praying for strength to help me do what I have to.