My W (WS) and I are now in marriage counseling separately after our several joint sessions seemed to get us nowhere.<p>My W came to the point where she didn't know if her heart is in trying to rebuild our M. So here I sit again kind of waiting on her to make a decision and make a move.<p>Anyway, at my last session, C asks me about intimacy etc. and how it's going...(it's not) but what I told her (C) is that, while I miss the intimacy and affection and the caring my wife showed me, what I really miss most of all is being the most important person in to someone else.<p>That's what my W used to tell me all the time. That I was the most important thing in the world to her. That she could not imagine her life without me. <p>I have friends and family who care about me, as I am sure we all do. But all of a sudden I am not the most important thing in the world to anyone. (No kids)<p>It makes me feel very sad and lonely. <p>I am not trying to begin a pity party here but does anyone else share this feeling? Does everyone? <p>C says I am a saint. Says my patience with W (five-month separation, nearly a year since d-day)and work to keep the M intact has been remarkable. But she also says I need to take more control of my life and do more for me.<p>I am trying but it is hard to not think about W and M all the time....<p>Anyway, I know I am rambling and maybe not making much sense, but I just wanted to know how others have coped and done stuff for themselves....suggestions.<p>I mean, for a guy, it's unlikely that a new hairdo or manicure is going to do the trick. [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <p>And yes, I exercise every day and try to spend some time with friends and family, but it just doesn't seem to cut it, you know? <p>Thanks for any suggestions you might have.<p>E <p>*******"I breathe in I breathe out
Put one foot in front of the other
Take one day at a time
'Til you find
I'm that someone you can't live without
Until then
I breathe in and breathe out." -- Chris Cagle*********

E,<p>I think that's one of the reasons we get married...to be the most important person in someone's life. To be that special someone. To belong to somebody.

E,<p>yeah, I understand. It is very lonely waiting for someone to tell you whether or not they love you, want you or need you. Hold on, smile and breathe. You can get through this time. It's hard, but you can.<p>Needing

dd---So how then, when somone makes you that special person by marrying you, do they decide at some point that you aren't?<p>Maybe that's obvious to others, but not to me...<p>Sorry---I just don't get it. [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img] <p>needing---I may be barely breathing, but I'm alive...thanks [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>E

I think they start to dwell on what you aren't instead of what you are...<p>annoying habits overshadow tender kisses
inconsiderate behavior overshadows thoughtfulness<p>pretty much, 'familiarity breeds contempt'<p>I think we have to be ever vigilant not to let ourselves see the tarnish (that cannot be avoided with age and use) more than the silver lining.