Well, Friday will be our 16th wedding anniversary. 10 months since D-Day and the roller coaster actually seems to be slowing down.<p>I'm not getting my hopes too high, but it's definetly better.<p>H has given me 4 dozen yellow roses over the past week (he said he knew this would be a rough week for me & wanted to make it as pleasant as possible)<p>Yes, BS's there is hope. This is the same man that told me I deserved to be cheated on, it was all my fault, THEY were all better than me etc etc<p>H has taken a total turn around and is actually saying things like:<p>I have been thinking alot about what I did & I can't believe what a fool I was<p>I cherish every day that you 7 the kids stay w/ me<p>He has even cut off ties with his family that has been very unsupportive of my needs (ya know if I were a better wife he wouldn't have strayed ha!)<p>Anyone...
H has planned a night out in the city with a special present. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>??? We haven't been wearing our wedding rings for the past 8 months...<p>Should I surprise him & out mine back on & give him his back?<p>Wish us luck...last years anniversary was terrible.

It's pretty sad when a OP gets more attention then someone tying to rebuild their realtionship.<p>i feel like I am being betrayed again or is just that the OP are more interesting??<p>Does anyone out there feel guilty?<p>Finally I had something positive to post about & I feel like shi*! No one cared.<p>Oh, well, H doesn't either..called off romantic anniversary plans because I'm a bit**.<p>Merry F'n Christmas.

bump

Yes, I feel guilty. I feel bad that we BS let an OP manipulate our thought process yet again, not only does it happen in life but on this board! I for one am tired of hearing about the OP pain, I am going to be selfish and say what i feel and what i feel is SO WHAT! You went in with both eyes open, GET OVER IT and MOVE ON just like everyone else does in the REAL WORLD. But Louser, i do feel guilty that no one came to reply to you and your good news that turned alittle sour. So what happened? What made WS say that the plans were called off?

Louser! What happened here? What did he do?? I was so hopeful when I read your first post!<p>Rose Red

Hi Louser,
sorry, i felt the same way. I spent all day yesterday talking on OW thread. Spent all day today dealing with triggers from it. I finally got 18 replys to my thread, I basically hijacked 3 or 4 threads and wrote: <p>I'm feeling...well...notheard. <p>I'm jumping up and down now trying to get attention. I even changed my subject heading to try and make it sound spicier:<p>If anyone can help I am in/on the recovery board.<p>I may just hijack every thread in a minute here.<p>Sigh...guess I'm just feeling like a cry baby today and I feel like telling... Telling on you guys for no replys, and telling on OW to fiance.<p>--------------------
It sounds like you had something positive to say. I'm sorry. Do like I did and hijack every thread. It worked for me. Its sad though but I am just as guilty - i too got sucked into ow thread yesterday.

Louser?<p>Please tell us what happened?<p>Jo

So sad...<p>Us poor BS have to "jump up & down" & make our post "spicier" to get attention.<p>All the OP has to do is lie down. lol<p>I like most of you that responded here do not feel sorry for anyone involved in an A. They never felt sorry for us. A's are selfish acts between 2 (or more) people without regard to anyone elses needs or feelings & devoid of all morals & commitments.<p>So Hailey can go feel sorry for herself somewhere else. Why isn't she complaining to her MM? Because if she does she will be LB'ing & he'll dump her or cheat on her.<p>But anyway who cares...NOT ME.<p>I don't mind giving advice to WS & OP when they truly want to change & do the "right" thing. But if they're hear to call us names & make us feel bad for wanting to work on our M's then they better get lost.<p>As for me:<p>Had huge fight because "dejavu" set in 2 nights ago. Sane scenero has D-Day. I flipped out & LB'd big time. H went into his cave, etc etc<p>I guess it's all my "problem" right now. Ya see, we are going to the city (Boston) for a night out. Well, I obsess everytime I think about H & OP checking into a hotel & what they did etc etc<p>It's soooo hard toput the thoughts out of my head. The pain is still so fresh & H just doesn't always get it.<p>We are still going...On our way now. Just wanted to say thanks to all who relied & lurked.<p>I'll let you know how it goes.<p>Lisa

Louser,
I can relate. I had a really bad day yesterday and what it boils down to is I allowed those thoughts to come in my head and I toyed with them and entertained them and eventually was totally consumed by thoughts of OW. I think we do need to bring things up with our husband but as far as lovebusting...I stole this from RoseRed's post and I love it and think it applys here:<p>I actually thought of asking a question about how my husband and the OW spent some of their time during the affair, but it seemed like opening the garbage can for a big whiff, and frankly, I decided I didn't want to.
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Try your best. If its too soon, its too soon, time is on our side. This time next year hopefully we will be telling our success stories.

Louser....<p>Dunno if youre already gone...I know how you feel about the visuals...try to add yourself to the new movie reel and realize the old one is on the studio cutting floor!! You got a chance at new life.....dont let the old program rerun you to death.......you are the newer version of the Movie gone bad!! Realize that YOU are the one in the starring role now.....not OW!!!<p>Have a great time....take a breath.....make new memories!!<p>*Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.*<p>Trueheart