Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 609
K
kevco- Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 609
Ok, Ok, I won't go window shopping, but how about looking at christmas lights? Some people have the prettiest lights if you look just right through their windows.<p>Ok, I'm just here to vent a little. I'm just having THAT feeling tonight. We went to a hockey game last night and I asked what she was doing tonight (because I had tickets again). She said she had "other plans." I know what that means. She's told me that she was going to continue to do "normal" stuff with both of us while she tried to figure out what to do.<p>But then during the game that sick feeling came back and I'm afraid to even think about what it meant.<p>I'd like to ask her if "normal" means still sleeping with him while not sleeping with me, but I know that'd be a nuclear type LB.<p>You know, I've been doing so well, feeling so good lately. I guess I'm just having a down eve. <p>I miss being with her. The last couple of times we've been together, I've genuinely had a good time. I told her she was fun to be with last night, and she cheerfully gave me a hug (I even snuck in a peck on the cheek and didn't get belted). Though she also told me she "doesn't know about the marriage," earlier in the evening.<p>I guess it's just difficult days all around. I should count my blessings that she's willing to even GO on dates, to have Christmas together at her parents, to try to see if she can feel normal around me....but I guess it's never enough.<p>I've been counseling TIME and PATIENCE to a lot of folks lately, guess I'll take a helping of that advice myself.<p>Thanks for listening,
Kev

Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 117
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 117
Awwwww!!! Kev?!? lol, I have to admit I laughed when I first read over the first couple of lines of your post. I had to read it a second time to realize you were talking about looking through specific windows !! aghhhh!! Don't go there!!<p>If you are having that "sick" feeling in the gut, how about doing what you first joked about? Go for a walk. Or a drive, if it's too cold where you live. Anywhere but the street where she lives. (Isn't that in a song? lol) Go window shopping downtown, or at the mall. Go Christmas light looking. Call a friend. Call me if you need to. (Email me and I'll send you my number. For real. I have talked to lots of friends through tough times!) Just do NOT go there!<p>Okay?????

Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 609
K
kevco- Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 609
Thanks, B. I know, I'm not going to go THERE. It is tempting sometimes, but I know it'll only hurt me, not help. Besides, I have better self control (usually) than that anyway.<p>I just needed to get it off my chest.<p>Thanks again,
K

Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,069
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,069
Kev! You crack me up! NO ... no steppin outta the house tonight, PERIOD! You knucklehead.<p>You know, yours and Venus' situations are very similar to me. And I just recently asked her a question that she couldn't answer, that was, what needs is the OW meeting of Venus' H.<p>So I'm wondering ....have you an inkling of what needs OB is providing for your W? And while you're at it, what needs are you providing her with, because you obviously are meeting some of them because she wants to spend time with you.<p>Just wondering, Kev.<p>Jo

Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
O
Member
Offline
Member
O
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
Kev,<p>I'm gonna call the LB Fairie to lock you in your house and throw away the key until the sun rises in the morn. Ya hear!!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Ok, if you gotta go out, go to Walmart or one of those stores that are open 24/7 right now. Share your stress (not what just the stress) with the rest of the procrastinating world that always wait until the last minute and be glad you are just there to observe them trying to be wildly creative. <p>Is this keeping you busy? Ok, let's put our heads together you guys out there..... how to keep Kev busy so he won't turn into a peepin' tom.<p>Only joking. I know about that sick feeling. You just know and in most cases your gut feeling is right on target. Sorry for that. We will help you keep on track ok? <p>Take Care,
L.

Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 609
K
kevco- Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 609
Thanks folks.<p>Resilient, I have some ideas, but I'm too tired to think (or write) about them. Maybe I'll brainstorm about it some tomorrow. In the mean time, I think I'll curl up with one of my myriad relationship books and go to bed.<p>Thanks for always being there, all of you.
K

Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 4,063
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 4,063
Kev, <p>You funny guy!<p>Seriously, I am going to pray your wife doesn't spend too much time making up her mind. Right now she's having her cake and eating it too and you are allowing this. If she takes too long I'm concerned you will lose all respect for her and she will end up losing you.<p>I'm glad you have so much patience, but everyone can only take so much...<p>Take care and have a very Merry Christmas!<p>ANNA<p>[ December 22, 2001: Message edited by: Anna2000 ]</p>

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by kevco-:
<strong>Ok, Ok, I won't go window shopping, but how about looking at christmas lightsKev</strong><hr></blockquote><p>whew! You gave me a scare there! Thought you were up to your old tricks again!

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Perhaps we need to get an electronic tether for Kev??? That way we wouldn't have heart failure when he mysteriously disappears for hours on Sat night.

Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
O
Member
Offline
Member
O
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
Has the LB Fairie patrol been replaced by the LB police? [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>L.


Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
1 members (1 invisible), 518 guests, and 54 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Bibbyryan860, Ian T, SadNewYorker, Jay Handlooms, GrenHeil
71,838 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5