Things have been getting better since the other guy is out of the picture. I feel very betrayed as to what has happend and it bothers me daily. Images of them together infuriates me beyond belief. My wife is also going through a very rough time in regards to her childhood and I feel very left out and in the cold.it has been 9 months since any sexual contact with my wife. I am very lonely and I dream of the day we can make love again. At this point I feel that it will never happen again. She has hurt me more than she can imagine. The other day i said to her that I am having images of them together and she said that she was sorry and we hugged. She put her wedding rings on again last week and this made me very happy. I also explained to her that I want more than a plutonic relationship and she once again became very defensive. I am being as open to her as I can and the results end up making me feel bad for expressing my needs and wants. It is as if I do not matter to her. We have been married 12 years, have 2 children and she does not realize the inpact she is having on me and the family. I am tired of pretending everything is rosey. She said that I should be happy with what I have and not with what I dont have. I can't coast like this forever and I have been doing all the things that this site provides. I recieve no appreciation for what I do, thank yous are very rare and I often ask what am I dioing here. It seems that there is nothing in this for me. I want more. I want my wife.<p>Slopoke

slopoke,
Yours are way ahead of mine, just be PTC. She is comming around by putting her wedding ring. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] ... SF will follows after her feeling is back again. Any MC w/ her in the pic ?. That will help a lot.

Good morning slopoke,<p>I wanted to let you know someone was listening.
Your situation sounds similar to my son's even down to the nine months and the childhood issues. Initially, S was haunted by images of them together, day and night. It doesn't bother him so much anymore, but originally it was like a video tape that he couldn't turn off. For your peace of mind, try to let that part go because it is a big roadblock to your healing.<p>My S and DIL's MC told them that she would have to deal with her childhood issues before a healthy marriage can be rebuilt. So my son is waiting - frustrated, off and on angry, sleeping on the couch, trying to be patient - as DIL struggles with her issues. How long he can live like this, I don't know.<p>slopoke, continue to be patient with your W. Let her know you miss being with her, but don't pressure her. It won't work in your favor. I'm sorry you are in this situation, especially this time of year. I'll bet that by next Christmas you will have your wife back.<p>Take care,
Estes