Just so wierd, I have used that word a lot lately.<p>I just don't get how WH can be here and behave in most circumstances as if he has done nothing wrong.<p>Talked with FIL today and he apologised for his sons behaviour, says that it came from his side of the family, as none of his siblings stayed married to the same person, although him and MIL have been married 42 years, FIL said that he expected it from the one son and from the one SIL but not my husband.<p>I just don't understand know how you can just not be in love with someone anymore, in 20 years the love is different yes, more settled. That is where I thought we were, the comfortable love stage. What a kick in the teeth for me.<p>How is he here and not effected by what he has done? We pretty much ignore each other and are in the same room, I have vowed not to intiate any conversations, as WH always waits for me to intiate the conversation and then he blast me. I plan A as best I can.<p>I walked down stairs at my folk's house tonight and it hit me that things weren't going to be the same, I started crying and couldn't recover in time and took off back upstairs and locked myself in the bathroom for a few minutes to re-gain my compsure. WH was waiting outside the door for me, asked if I wanted him to leave and I said no. Things went ok after that, I had a hard time every time I glanced at H and thought how can he do this to our family and not be effected in any outward way.<p>I am just so sad!! It hurts so much and I am such a wimp for letting it get to me this way, I have been so strong through all of this, my kids and I are building a good life here I know. I get along just fine without him so why am I setting here blubbering like an idiot? I just don't get it!!!<p>I have so much to do for dinner tomorrow, think I will get up early.<p>Merry christmas to all!!!<p>Dawn<p>[ December 25, 2001: Message edited by: daybreak ]</p>

Hi Dawn,<p>I know just how you are feeling....I haven't seen my H---but the kids were at his apt on Fri and Sat. Their apt is all set up...her stuff is all over. H. fixed the kids a turkey dinner--just like we do. They opened his gifts and after the big kids left, he had the little ones call his girlfriend to thank her for the presents. Both Kaitie and Kyle said he doesn't miss living with us.<p>My older girls said it was just sad. He sent home a present for me and let all the kids know it. It was in a big yellow box. I opened it up--it was one of those stupid ham,sardine cracker things that we used to buy for his great-grandmother. Some controversy over that...I placed it back in the giftwrap and changed the label..."I wrote...but I think you and L. will enjoy the sardines better". Haven't given it to him yet tho. I sure don't want it.<p>This is sad. I don't know how they do it with no remorse or regrets. I have been miserable for 8 months. HE hasn't been--he has moved on to a new life. I am amazed by the lack of caring and love. I guess we don't have a choice but to move on. Life won't ever be the same, and I guess that is what we have to live with. <p>My prayers are with you and the kids. Pat

{{{{{Dawn}}}}}. I don't know how they can do it either. I wish I had some words of wisdom but I don't I just wanted you to know that someone hears you and will be praying for you today.<p>Merry Christmas Dawn.

Hugs...Dawn...<p>I am in a self-enforced vacation from the boards...but I had to stop by and check on some of "YOU." <p>My thoughts and prayers are with you.<p>Holiday Blessings to you and yours,
Cali

Hello Dawn,<p>Oh, I truly believe that WS do know what they have done. They simply concoct a rationalization, a self-delusion, a form of emotional self-defense that allows them to live with their choices. At least temporarily. No matter what their outward demeanor, these people know. They know. And they feel it.<p>And they will eventually have to come to terms with the consequences of their choices. Statistics show that the majority of people who leave their families later regret their choice.<p>So very sad. Take care. 2002 will be better.
Estes

I just so want to smack him up along the side of the head, I know that I have a 2x4 out in the garage that I don't need!!!! Think that it would help? I don't think it would help him but would make me feel better, isn't that important!!!<p>I never got a thank you for the gifts that I gave to WH last night or any mention of letting him be with us at my parent's last night, he didn't go with us to church last night and that bothers me as I am sure he called her to make her feel better!! UGH! He did it from my house too!!! I know that he did tonight too!!!<p>I have done a good plan A and continue to do so, have not made any demands on WH, haven't asked any questions or made any attempt to talk. Made it pretty easy for him really!! Why have I done that? I don't know!!! Why? I so want to touch him, to have him hug me, I don't like being so needy.<p>Hope that everyone has had a Merry Christmas. Mine has not been as bad as I anticipated, but not what I hoped for either.<p>Dawn