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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 379
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 379 |
SInce H's EA he has made a promise to me that he will never let himself fall into that situation again....(being unhappy, seeking companionship elsewhere etc) and when he says this..has done so numerous times.....he seems so sincere and genuinely sorry... i want to believe him so much but theres that doubt in the back of my mind that believes he will do it again next time things get rough.<p>i dont think i will be able to handle another affair this one caused me too much hurt.<p>im afraid he wont keep his promise to me. how can i believe in him.?<p>is this normal? does anyone else feel this way?
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 3,454
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 3,454 |
Oh I totally feel that way.<p>I don't know if my feelings will ever change...so I simply tell myself that FOR TODAY, everything is ok. Then I ask myself if TODAY I have done what I need to do to love my H and take care of my part of our marriage. And finally, I let the future take care of itself.<p>It's working for me so far.
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Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,069
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Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,069 |
Hi Luv,<p>Your best bet, IMHO, is to make sure you know at least his top two EN and fill those suckers.<p>If you subscribe to Harley's principals, then making sure you're meeting his needs, not LBing, using POJA and applying all the Rules, I would say you have a pretty good chance of a sustained successsful recovery.<p>Now as far as the fear factor, "yes" ... I can't imagine a BS on here that probably doesn't or didn't at one time fear a recurrence. But IMHO, time will take care of dissapating that fear. After a good amount of time and rebuilding, your confidence and trust in your WH should strengthen, and his in you.<p>What you're feeling is very normal. You can't go thru such a traumatic ordeal without it affecting you. Give yourself time.<p>I hope I've helped somehow.<p>Love, Jo<p>[ December 27, 2001: Message edited by: Resilient ]</p>
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Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,069
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Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,069 |
Bump .. Luv needs some more imput PLEASE
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 1,075
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 1,075 |
I think we all feel this way. When H and I first got back together I didn't believe any of his promises. I wanted very much to believe them, and I never told him I didn't, but in the end it's the actions that count. While we were separated and on the roller coaster he made me plenty of promises he broke, so his words were pretty cheap at that point. One of his fog statments was "It gets so draining making promises that I don't keep". The promises are great, but it takes time to see if the actions back them up.
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