A quick recap to start. Recently WH attempted to manipulate me and refuse to take any responsibility for deciding whether to stay in our M or get a D and go live with OW by saying he would do whatever I wanted. And BTW, of course, if he has to give up OW and be with me for the rest of his life he will be miserable and our M will never work out anyway. <p>In response, I told him, yes I love him and believe our M can be better than ever if that's what we both want, that I want him to stay with me because he loves me and wants to be with me and chooses to be with me. I also told him that I wasn't going to force him to stay with me, or make him stay with me, or try to control what he chooses to do, and that I release him from the wedding vows, he is under no obligation to stay, and that he is free to leave if that is what he wants. I told him I wasn't going to make the decision for him, that it had to be his decision. The ball was back in his court.<p>So he decides to think about it for a few more days. Then yesterday he tells me he's decided to stay, but he's still saying it is only because it is what I want. He told OW (before he told me) that he decided to stay with me. She of course is heartbroken, expressing her undying love forever, and is trying to get him to change his mind and dump me and marry her.<p>Now I'm trying to figure out what's really going on. <p>Is this A going to die a natural or unnatural death? <p>Why did he decide to stay with me? Is this what he really wants, but for some reason can't just come out and say it? Is he doing it this way so he can "honestly" tell OW that his W is making him end their A?<p>So what do I do now? At the moment all I can think of is, accept it, not question it, kick up Plan A a notch, start insisting on no contact with OW, and keep dreaming of the day in a year or so when he tells me how happy he is and that he's so glad I never gave up on us?<p>Am I living in fantasyland? I would love to hear your take on this.<p>[ December 28, 2001: Message edited by: SilverRose ]</p>
