Sorry this is so long, but I have been gone a long time.<p>I have been here lurking and occasionally posting off and on for the past month after being gone since July. I went through some very tough times as all BS on this site have; however, I don't think I handled things well at all. <p>D-day was 3/9/01 and I was home for the weekend from a business trip. I found out on a Friday and was on a plane on Sunday to go back to the big apple for work. I barely had time to breathe let alone pull myself together and try to salvage my M. <p>ALthough I found this site thanks to a very caring friend, I was in no emotional state at the time to plan anything let alone plan a so I made some huge mistakes in my attempts at plan a. It did not take S. Harley long to see the effects my WH was having on my love bank and he sent me to plan b almost immediately. <p>Once I got some help in the form of Celexa and started to calm down enough to take stock of my situation, I saw the importance of plan a, but felt that it was too late for me. WH had plans to file and I was in plan b. I stopped counseling and stopped caring about the marriage. I went out a lot, spent a lot of time visiting my BIL and SIL of all people (who were and are very supportive). They live in another state and I went there about eight times over the summer and fall. In the meantime I started noticing someone else and thought that maybe that was the answer to all my prayers. Does anyone see the problems arising. S. Harley warned me of this, but I did not listen. It just felt good to think that someone might pay attention to me. I started considering moving to this other state and pursuing someone. I even got as far as job interviews. <p>Then from out of nowhere my WH started easing back in the picture. No, OP is not out of the picture, but we started talking, working on the house (which we are not living in right now) and just spending time together. I took a friends advice and called S. Harley for a session, brought him up to speed and got back on track to save my marriage. Since I never did a plan a and I have made tremendous changes S. Harley and I thought it would be good to hit plan a really hard now that I am emotionally capable. That is where I am. <p>WH and I are spending quite a bit of time together. I have lost 80 pounds, I dress really nice now, always wear make-up, and have made several non-physical changes as well that WH has noticed. We have put talks of D on hold and we are just seeing "what is there" according to him. He said he does not want to look back five years from now and wonder what if he had given our M a shot. <p>This is where I am now. I would appreciate any thoughts on my situation good or bad and any prayers as well.<p>Thanks
Sinking
