I am trying plan A with ww with little or no progress. I sent pictures and a gift for christmas present then flowers 2 days later for ww's birthday. Had no response at all. Today I wrote my lawyer and asked him to use all legal means to stall divorce proceedings to give me more time. The trial is set for Feb and we start taking depositions in about 10 days. i will meet ww's lawyer and she will meet with mine. I surely do not look forward to that.

A mutual friend of many years called me today about business and said she had talked to ww today and she told her how mean I was and that I had turned the 3 sons against her. Said I would not give her money to buy gifts for them for Christmas. Didn't mention that she had not even called them to wish them a merry Christmas. I understand that our minister is planning to visit ww. I surely didn't ask him to go because I know how that would go over. is this still fog or could ww really be loosing it? I have read somewhere that if ws is angry at you that means that they still have feelings for you. This is so hard to take and I feel totally helpless. I am going to try to get an appointment with Steve next week. Any suggestions for plan a ing when you cannot talk to ws?

Unfortunately I don't have any great advice other than to just keep on doing what you are doing. I am not doing too well with Plan A myself. My WS has not talked to me either. As I have read on other threads....keep plan A'ing your butt off! I know how hard it is to keep doing that when the WS doesn't respond. I hope you have success! Hang in there.
BH

Hi there, <p>I cannot offer any ground-breaking advice, unfortunately. When my WH went through his "complete and total b**[censored]" phase, I hadn't yet discovered MB, so I probably fueled his flames quite a bit. <p>But hindsight is a beautiful thing. I would have been in major Plan A had I known. I would have smiled if/when I saw him, not rung him constantly to see how he was, not appeared needy, not tried to force him to talk to me. None of it. I would have just sat back with a sympathetic smile and watched him go off like a Whirling Dervish.<p>It's tough being in Plan A when they are angry. Chances are she's blaming you for a lot of things and yes, it's the fog talking. Justifying her own actions and short-comings by not taking responsibility and forcing you to hold it all. The trick, in my opinion, is to understand this. Yes, most definitely examine what you could have done to contribute to the state of your marriage, but don't take everything she says and does to heart. Someone said to me on here once that if her WS told her the sky was blue, she wouldn't believe it. I've remembered that and it helps. <p>Hang in there. Plan A your bum off, work on yourself and hope that your WW notices!<p>hugs and good luck to you!
ve

Thanks for the mental help. When I absolutely give up, someone on mb lifts my spirits. actually I have only had a few lb in the last 8 months. One was the first time I confronted ww after d day. I don't think any reasonable man could take it without exploding however. I regret I didn't find this site 6 months sooner.