W calls today and is scared she may lose her job, Major fopa at work, I tryed to provide as much comfort as psooible.
I invited her over tonight to talk cause I have th kids, she said she did'nt know what she wanted to do. Everything worked out OK, she did nt lose her job. <p>She then calls at 6:15PM. ILL be over in about 2 hours, I know you need warm clothes for the kids. (FLA)<p>NO call, no show. Good thing I didn't tell daughter (5)mommy was coming over tonight. I thought she might pull this. <p>I am now more convinced than ever she is extreamly angry with me and still loves me very much. <p>My Question is, what should I say tomorow, She'll call in the AM to bring the clothes over.<p>I'm thinking about lying and telling her Daughter was devastated. <p>
Or thinking about saying, I not mad or disappointed, I had a hunch you would do this. I am more convinced now then ever you still love me and we are closer to recovery then I thought?<p>Wadda ya think?

Be honest and take the 2nd approach. Just let her know that you would appreciate a call and that in the future you wouldl like to tell your daughter that Mom is coming over as I'm sure your D would like that. Ask your wife if she can help you achieve making your D hapy thru that anticipation. I would hope if W she's it thru Ds eyes that she would be there and not leave her rejected.

I don't mean to sound negative, but how did you determine that the no-show indicates that she loves you very much and you're closer to recovery than she thinks? I hope you're right, but I certainly wouldn't tell her that; that would be very presumptious... I suppose the best way to act is to not say anything (good or bad)... Pretend it didn't happen and didn't phase you... IMO.<p>AGG

AAG,
"but how did you determine that the no-show indicates that she loves you very much and you're closer to recovery than she thinks?" <p>Because this is an act of anger, a payback if you will. If she wern't angry she woul dnot have done this. If she were really finished with this relationship she woul dhave come over, said hi, dropped off the clother, picked up the check and said good by.<p>How this for a response for tomorrow. I love you very much, Sorry we missed each other last night, I would have been nice to have seen you, may be next time we can connect.

Well, bud, just looking at your story in your signature, it's hard to tell if you're in Plan A or B... Since the two are fundamentally incompatible, your response should reflect your plan-du-jour... If you're in Plan A, I suppose you should be all smiley that she comes by (assuming she does), but I still would not bring up the issue that she stood you up. I'd just act happy that she's there, otherwise you risk an LB... Of course if you're in Plan B, she shouldn't even be coming over, right? Good luck,<p>AGG

Don't lie and bring your daughter in the middle to manipulate your wife's emotions. Be truthful and tell her that YOU were devastated because she stood you up.<p>So anyways... what did you say?

Update on NO Show.<p>She dropped the clothes off in the AM, actully ste them inside my front door. She called (I did'nt answer) and left a message telling me the cothes were there. Said she didn't want to disrupt our morning. MY house is way out of her wat inthe AM. I don't know hwere the OM lives, my giess is that she was with him and spent the night. <p>I called and thanked her for the clothes, let her know I had a check with the kids for her. Aksed how her "shopping" went the previous night. And invited her and the kids to my hockey game for tues night. NO LBing.<p>She caled when she got the check, at mid-day. I left it in a really cute card. Asked again when my game was. Said we talk later, we never talked. <p>When I got home there was a message from S HArley, They had been playing phone tag. Finally spoke, to her, he got her back on track onEN questionnair. She made comments on how I had no Angry Outbursts or disrespectful judgements. He said stay in plan A.