first off...if you go to recovery and look on second page...i posted "my story" to gardenia. that will give you a bit of background on me [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>anyway.. i choose my marriage. why?? well. the day my H found out, he made me leave. the looks on my childrens faces were devestating. I decided to try for my kids. <p>on the other hand. I knew that despite everything...EVERYTHING, i loved my H. I was just so darn angry with the way he treated me, ecte ct.. I had learned to shut down my emotions during the abuse. I however didnt learn to open them util someone else opened them for me (OM)<p>U see estees, im not the cheatin kind. Im very faithful in all that i do. i think that is why IT DID happen...because it couldnt happen to me..id never do such a thing.<p>on the other hand....despite my H hurt, for a long time he did reach out to me...but with myself in such a funk, i didnt think i was responding to him. but here in the end..i see that i did respond eventually, only he quite trying [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] .....anyway...when i married...i married for better or worse..this just happens to be worse. I want to love my husband more than anything in this world. He is a good man. he is faithful through and through...he is a good provider, caring, considerate, and despretely hurt and angry. <p>all in all....i didnt choose him......he chose me.<p>mercy

mercy,<p>Thanks so much for responding. It is reassuring to hear that you are making your way through your crisis. It is sad that some BS can't see the anger building in the potential WS, my son included. <p>It's obvious that your H loves you and you love him. Emotions take a long time to heal, but with both of you showing respect for each other and M, your chances for full recovery look good.<p>I'll keep track of your progress in Recovery. Thanks for answering my questions. I wish the best for your family.<p>Estes