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You have intrigued me. You said "Just for the record, this guy has a high appreciation AND a preference for a strong woman who speaks her mind and takes the initiative. (Just don't be a controller)."<p>Can you define where the line is drawn?
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Joined: Sep 2000
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Oh no. Now I'm in trouble. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>OK, I'll try, but which line? The line between being strong and assertive and being a controller?<p>For me - and other guys can be WAY different - I see that this line can be pretty wide and well defined. Any person (not just women) can be confident and take initiative and NOT be controlling if they are confident enough to be comfortable knowing that others may not agree with them. Thus, they won't try to impose their way as the only way - controlling.<p>Is this close to answering your question?<p>WAT
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Joined: Jun 2001
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Yep you answered well, as I thought you would. You seem to have a unique, insightful way of thinking.<p>The reason I asked is my H always tells me. and I have heard him tell other people, that I am the strongest person he has ever met. He has never called me controlling, although I think I am, but he tends to get very upset if I'm not strong. For instance, d-day. I was probably as close to hysterical as I'll ever get and he had absolutely no idea how to handle it. He just kept telling me how strong I am and how I needed to "pull myself together" and be strong. Maybe strength is one of his EN's. Hmmm I'll have to ask him.<p>Thanks for your reply [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]
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Joined: Sep 2000
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Could be entirely possible that "strength" is an EN for him. I think it is for me. To me, I prefer a strong, confident woman because it helps my confidence to know she chose me. A weak woman might "settle" for a less "admirable" guy. Make sense?<p>WAT
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Joined: Apr 2001
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Good Thread,<p>I too have been told that I am a very strong person, my WH has mentioned it more then one time, I do wonder if strength is what allowed him to leave, meaning that he didn't see that I did really love him and need him so much in my life.<p>Dawn
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Joined: Sep 2000
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Dawn - Your "strength" - real or only perceived by your H - may have been part of his twisted rationale to leave. But if it wasn't present, he would have reasoned something else, probably.<p>My point is that we BSs tend to analyze their motives and analysis too much - trying to think rationally about the decisions of irrational people.<p>If you are here coping, you are a strong person - stronger than your H because you are confronting your problem instead of running from it.
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Thank you WAT for the kind words, I needed the boost today, it was a tough one at school, the kids are great, it's all that other stuff to deal with.<p>I've always been a strong person, work hard to not be a controlling person the line is very fine.<p>I have way too much going on in my life at the present to analyze WH motives, I gave that up a while back, he left I have to deal with the fall out of that and I am doing ok, I sleep sound at night!! From what WH says every time that I see him is that he is not sleeping well, awfully dark circles under those eyes. But I remember that he is doing what he needs to do to be happy in life!!<p>Dawn
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