I will try and keep this brief, but no promises! You all know how long-winded I can be!<p>H and I had our weekly date last night. It went unbelieveably well. I would say he was much more at ease than ever. We shopped a bit, he bought me a new gadget (and I didn't even ask!), we had dinner, had wine at my flat and talked. We shared funny memories (the kind of "oh! Do you remember when" stories) Lots of laughs, a few casual touches. He even looked at me when we met up and said, "Wow! You look nice!" and later in the evening commented on how much weight I had lost and how good I look. (happy dance!)<p>Then he brought up a weird subject - but first some background...<p>H and were talking on the phone on Sunday and discussing him possibly moving back in. I made it perfectly clear to him that I was open to any options, and if that meant moving out of this city and starting over somewhere new, then so be it. He mentioned my friends and said he was scared they wouldn't be accepting of him if we reconciled. I told him, flat out, that our marriage was the most important thing and if moving away and starting over was what was needed, then so be it. He seemed pretty responsive to that. <p>The next day, a friend told me of a conversation he had with my H on the same night (before I spoke to my H on the phone). H apparently said that two of the major problems he had with me were my friends and my flat (formerly OUR flat). I found it rather interesting that I had brought up those exact two things with my H before even knowing those were concerns of his. Should have scored some major LB deposits there, really. <p>So last night he mentioned the flat to me. Asked if we are still in our 6-month lease or if we were renting month-to-month. I smiled inside and wondered if he was asking so that we could possibly move and start over. Who knows?<p>Anyway, while he was at my place last night, his phone rang CONSTANTLY. Guess who? I mean, literally, phone call after phone call after phone call. She must have rung about 6 times in a row. My H didn't answer it. Kept sending her to the answering machine and rolling his eyes and sighing really loud everytime she called. I didn't say anything the first few times, but after about the 4th time, I said, "Wow. She's persistent. Is she always like that?" H just sounded kind of embarassed and said, "Yeah. Sometimes." <p>I got the impression he was extremely annoyed with her calls. Seems like OW is a LB Queen in some ways. I say RIGHT ON!<p>So he started getting ready leave. It was quite late and I really wanted him to stay. Bit scared to ask, but I did anyway. He hugged me really hard and said no; said that it was easier to get to work in the morning from his place, which is true. Everytime he stays at my place, he's late, which isn't good. But then there could have been other reasons. I asked him if he was uncomfortable with us sleeping together last week and he kissed me really hard and said, "No. I'm here now, aren't I?" and smiled at me. <p>So off he went. Gave me another huge hug and a very passionate kiss before he left. My heart melted. <p>An hour later, my best friend phoned me and told me he was going travelling out of the country for a year. I burst into tears. Hard enough having marital problems, but when you're best friend has been your rock throughout it all, and then leaves too, it makes it that much more difficult. <p>I needed to talk to someone, so I texted my H. Asked if he was still awake and that I needed him. It was about 2am, so I figured he wouldn't be awake, but thought I would try anyway. I didn't hear back from him (he shuts his phone off while he sleeps). But the MINUTE he woke up at 6 in the morning, he phoned me! I couldn't believe it! I actually reached out to him and he was right there! Unfortunately, my phone was off as well, but my call register showed that he rang about 4 times. I was stunned, touched and felt cared for. Amazing. <p>So things are looking good for now. He has been a very different person ever since spending 10 days with OW at the Holidays. Been contacting me a lot, reaching out to spend time with me, spent the night once, said it felt right and didn't make him uncomfortable. He seems more at ease and admitted to thinking a lot about moving back in. To be honest, it almost feels as though the H I married is back - except for the OW in his life. But I'm feeling like it's not all he thought it was going to be. <p>Am I being naive here? I mean, my rollercoaster hasn't gone down since Christmas; the longest period ever. What's happening? I even had my first ever dream last night about reconciliation. It was amazing! We were back together and Plan A-ing each other and trying to have children. It was so clear and so vivid. And since Dday, all I've had are divorce dreams. I guess it all has to do with my attitude, as well, but someone please tell me that my H is acting positively!<p>Okay, so much for this being brief. <p>thanks everyone!
love,
VE
