And no one lives happily ever after.<p>It's been a really long time since I last posted here, and I hardly recognize the names anymore. But I figured that some of the people I knew might still be lurking in the background somewhere.<p>Nine months after my husband moved to Florida with the slug, I finally heard from him. He called me several times before finally catching me at home on Sunday night.<p>What did he want? He called to find out what my work schedule was ... so he could arrange to have divorce papers served. I had expected this months ago already, but it still was a bit like a kick in the gut. I was quite polite and not in the least bit unpleasant. After we established when I worked and when I didn't work, he tried to make small talk ... how's work? how's this and that? I answered simply and politely but did not elaborate nor did I ask anything about him or his life. A few times the conversation hit a lull and I thought he was done, but he found something else to talk about. Finally, he was finished.<p>And, I guess soon, so are "WE" ... Funny, it bothers me only a little bit at this point. I still think about him, and thinking about being divorced upsets me, but not anything like I thought it would. I guess that's what time does for you... after all, it's now been over three years since d-day.<p>So ... Happy New Year, folks... It's a time for new beginnings - and to begin anew at some things, we must first end some other things. It's time for me to truly move on.

Dear Terri,<p>You certainly are not forgotten. You have been through a lot and gave so much of yourself. <p>I am sorry that your H has not learned to appreciate all the love and goodness in you. It still does not make sense so I see where you are having a hard time. <p>Do continue being your best. You have done your best and in the eyes of many we see that. Time of clarity will come to him....it will. For now, if it is better for you to move on then you must. You have a lot to offer. <p>May life and love be yours again. <p>To a great lady who helped me a lot.....<p>Thanks Terri,
L.

Terri,<p>I do remember you being here when I first came last April.<p>I am sorry that there is not a happily ever after for you and your H. <p>There is a happily ever after for you, you have bettered yourself, been here to help others, know that you did what you could to make your marriage work. You didn't lose, you gained so much from your experience, it cost you and was painful I know.<p>I know that I am not afraid to be alone in life, I just don't like how I got there.<p>Take care, we are still here for support and you may still need that from us for awhile, so please call upon your friends for help.<p>Dawn

Terri,<p>I remember you too. Sorry to hear how things have turned out. You have come a long way and it sounds like you are in a good place to move on. Remember that when one door closes, another door of opportunity opens. There is something new and good for you out there. <p>{{{{{{hugs}}}}}

Well don't worry. This story is not over yet. You have a much better chance of living happily ever after than they ever did! They are doomed from the beginning. The sky's the limit for you!<p>Heck, if HE's happier living with a "slug" then IMHO, you are better off without him!!<p>[ January 10, 2002: Message edited by: BINthereDUNthat ]</p>

Terri,<p>your remembered.<p>at least you can now close the door on that chapter of your life knowing you did all you could.<p>you sound good. <p>hope you found peace & joy in your life and that happiness is not far behind.

terri,<p>I am still here. I figured when your H moved to FL one of two things would happen - he and slug would fall apart of they would get stronger. Sorry things have gone this way, because I know that you truly would have accepted him back into your life and worked to make a successful recovery.<p>You have done as much as you can do, and for that, you should have no regrets. Keep moving forward - school and life will keep you busy. You are a great person and have alot to offer to another, if that is what you choose. You have been an inspiration to many of us here, including me.<p>Wishing you a life full of happiness and fullfillment,

Desiree

terri--<p>I remember your posts as well. I am sorry things ended this way, but you are quite right...time for new beginnings. May yours lead to wonderful things!<p>Kathi

Good Morning Terri,<p>Well you know... I will be the odd voice out here. No, I don't see it as "good" news, but I see it as "closure" news.<p> I think there is so much stress in the "not knowing"... <p>...and as sad as it is, and as much as you hoped you could "wait it out," and as much as you'd hoped that slug would be covered with salt and fizzled away... it hasn't happened... so... <p>I see it as both positive and negative. <p>You've had your life "on hold" for three years, waiting for this man to make up his mind. He has, and now you may go forward. No more being stuck in limbo-land, no more wondering if he will return, no more wondering how he is doing 2000 miles away...<p>I send you good wishes and a hope for a brighter tomorrow, and yes, many HAPPY new years.<p>Love you,

Hi terri - I recently received the same "news" as you and I'll bet our feelings are similar. Time always works its wonders and we are its patients.

Hi Terri,<p>I don't know what to say, but to let you know that your husband is a fool. You are so smart, so insightful, sensitive, funny, and just plain wonderful. What a fool. What a shame.<p>Terri, I hope that you do meet someone that really deserves to have all that you have to offer, and I hope that someone loves you with all of their heart. <p>Be good to yourself, and don't go away, my friend. You have been there for me many times, and I thank you.<p>God Bless You, Terri.<p>TNT

Dear Friend,<p>Dear, dear friend. Hug. Go for it! <p>We've shared so much crummy crap over these years I can't wait to share all the good things that are to come.<p>We have tons more to laugh about and I am sorry but, at this point I must withdraw the sex change offer.<p>Who loves ya baby? <p>V.

thinking about being divorced upsets me, but not anything like I thought it would.
Pretty anti-climatic, isn't it? Work up to the "BIG" d and then, "is that all there is?"<p>{{{{{Terri}}}}}

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by terri:
<strong>Nine months after my husband moved to Florida with the slug, I finally heard from him. <p>What did he want? He called to find out what my work schedule was ... so he could arrange to have divorce papers served. </strong><hr></blockquote><p>Hi, Terri,
I remember you were on the boards when I first got here in May, June, too. I always loved reading your poems. I'm sorry things have not improved for you in all this time....<p>However, I am going to be the "dissenting voice" here. I DO NOT believe it's OVER (necessarily) for your M just b/c H called to find out your schedule to have you served! <p>He isn't cold, angry, cruel, etc. or he wouldn't have bothered to make small talk...just find out what he wanted, find a way to graciously get off the phone. This is not what he did. OK. Maybe nothing, maybe something.<p>They have "only" been living in Fl together for 9 months. Guess what?! MY H has been living w/ow in Fl for 8 months!!! Well, OK, we ALL LIVE in Fl, but still!!! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] The fact that he "finally" got around to filing (or said he did) doesn't really mean "it's over." After all, there can be any number of reasons why now. There is a 6-month residency requirement here, but that happened 3 months ago! Why didn't he file 3 months ago? Maybe she's putting pressure on him to do so, probably is! She's probably getting tired of the stalling (sounds like he's stalling to me!)<p>There've been plenty of people who have been served w/papers (myself included) who continue to believe for a miracle, and many, many WS's who actually drop them RIGHT ON THE COURTHOUSE STEPS!!<p>My point is that I don't want to build up yor hopes, but I want you to continue to believe in MB concepts. This AIN'T OVER yet!! It ain't over till YOU say it's over!<p>Keep your chin up, and your spirits high. You are a classy lady. I always looked up to your strength when I first got here....now I get to pay back. Pleas stay strong.<p>God Bless,

Hi Terri,<p> I posted the same time you did(we have the same timeline), you have certainly fought the good fight and can move on with a clear conscience....can't say the same for the "others". <p>Best wishes to you , keep us posted how things are going. LU

Hi Terri,<p>Lora and I were just talking about you, wondering where you've been.<p>I'm really sorry to hear the news, altho we know after so much time passing we suspect Recovery is unlikely, we do always hold out a bit of hope, at least I did. <p>You're so right, never in a million years did I see myself D. And even then, I couldn't have imagined surviving it this well.<p>How patient you are, Terri. Still treating him in a Plan A manner after this many years. I guess it really gets you nowhere to be mean and cold, but sometimes emotions take hold and I can't help myself. My H still touts love feelings when in touch, he's so odd. I almost have to threaten him to leave me alone. <p>At least now you can move forward, you don't have to file yourself and he, rightly I might add, has to do all the dirty work. I don't know what your State laws are, but I'm guessing you're not going to fight it. And most certainly make him pay for it Terri, it's part of the deal .... he cheats, he wants a D, he pays.<p>I hope you're doing okay. I know this stings, I can testify that it does get better. And if I can say that, you should be leaps and bounds ahead of me in no time.<p>Please keep in touch ... throw a rock or something so I know how things go with the D. I'd really like to know how you are doing, Terri.<p>Love to you,
Jo

Jo always beat me to it, I was going to say the same thing.<p>Glad to hear you aer doing OK with all the changes in your life. Come back once in awhile and let us know how you are OK? I miss you.
Lora

Terri, I don't post a lot either, but I still lurk quite a bit and have wondered about you. I'm sorry about the outcome of your situation. You gave it everything you had and you were always such an inspiration to me. You seem to have come a long way and seem so strong. Love and blessings - Janie

Hey Terri,<p>Sorry, I am not online as much as I have been in the past. I miss our chats. Yes, I am usually at Gina's house still remodeling.<p>It's not over until the papers are signed and you get the cheapy printout that states that you are now D. I played this paper chase game with Valerie for almost a year. And... ya know what? <insert guess here> ...she still calls me to this day. <p>Our anniversary of the D is sometime late this month and I haven't seen her since that time, not like she hasn't tried to make excuses to see me or anything. I hate to say, but I'm not interested in seeing her again. I blew her off last month when she called because I was in the middle of a biz deal and she DIDN'T LIKE THAT. What? are you on the other line? Too bad, how sad, have a coke [sorry Chris] and a smile and shut the **** up!!!<p>You will still hear from the X probably as I have 3 years down the road after respectfully asking her to vacate the residence. <p>She is not happy, he is not happy. Sorry, we tried. Happiness comes from within, not from whom you are with.<p>Much love,<p>Tim

{{{Terri}}},<p>You will always be in my thoughts...<p>You're going through, in slow motion, what many of us have been through... and it is painful, but it is also survivable.<p>My prayers are with you.<p> [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>JIm/NSR