Guys, I been looking at posts by radium, and frankly, they bother me a bit... just wanted to run them by you all and see what you think:<p>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=recent_user_posts&u=00015476 <p>Thanks, Cali<p>[ January 14, 2002: Message edited by: Cali ]</p>

Yeah, they bother me...accountability for relationship problems (although not the affair itself) usually goes both ways...and I'm not seeing any acknowledgement of that in these posts.<p>On a superficial level, though...if we're all presumably trying to follow the Harley method here...mention of Plan A is non-existant here. It's like...instantly get everything you want or file for divorce?<p>I'm gonna go hug my BS now...<p>[ January 10, 2002: Message edited by: TowardsTheFuture ]</p>

Especially the "birds of a feather" remark...ugh

So where's the original post or story. Did R ever share their experience? Gotta wonder. [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Time will tell. <p>L.

I'm especially noticing that radium has not started a thread or indicated his/her story...

Hm.....venture to say an angry spouse or.... well you know we've seen it before. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>L.

::feels like a newbie::<p>Seen what before?

Hi TTF,<p>I don't want to alarm or misjudge. However there have been those who have visited this board from other sites with intent to malice. I hope this is not the case, don't you?<p>L.

Yeah I hope so [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]

Noticed the post to be very short and to the point. Re-action not action seems to be the theme.<p>radium if you are there can you fill us in on your story, so we can see where it is you are coming from? Thanks!!<p>Dawn

I see it too..<p>Radium, if you read this... <p>This site is specifically for people who are recovering or trying to recover their marriage using the marriage builder principles. Please read the material on this web site and the books "Surviving an Affair", "His Needs, Her Needs" and "Love Busters". This will give you a good starting point.<p>While the WS is totally responsible for having an affair, both of the marriage partners are responsible for the state of the marriage. Most affairs occur when a marriage has significant problems and the WS's most important emotional needs have gone unmet for some time.<p>Read the material...

Hi Cali,
IMO, have to agree with Z that it appears the person is not familiar with the MB concepts. And, they are probably single! [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>The only time I could have just flat out told someone to get divorced or had that "I wouldn't put up with that" kind of attitude is when I was single & kid-less... OH, and clueless... [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

Just thinking out loud, probably new member should answer some questions about MB before they are allowed to post. But it will make some panic BS/WS discourage. No win situation.

I believe this person might have used the other method for saving a marriage, which is different from MB. I think it works for some people. It is almost like a "tough love" or &#8220;solution oriented&#8221; approach. I believe there is a site dedicated for that.<p>OOP

^^bump^^

Actually, radium reminds me of someone else off of another board...<p>radium=javis?<p>[ January 14, 2002: Message edited by: TowardsTheFuture ]</p>

Yes, it didn't escape me either..........but I actually thought it may be that soulmate11 person again, except this poster hasn't mentioned that book.<p>Anyone written to the moderator yet? That usually fixes things!<p>Love and light,<p>Jacky

Could be one of OP too. Many dump WW like mine will tell OM about everything including this board. I wonder if IP address could be trace to my WW's OM.<p>Hint a bit :
Some grammatical errors and also misspell words that is a habit : Behaviour & counselor .<p>14 out of 15 is reply to BS (Male)<p>[ January 14, 2002: Message edited by: redhat ]</p>

Well Folks,<p> This person has some strong words. Not necessarily a bad thing. Maybe not what MB is all about, but for certian means well. Tough Love is my take on this person.<p> He/she(don't know that they ever said)could be a recovering BS that wishes they would have done something different. He/She seems to care for the BS and attempts to get the BS to see another way to get the same results, just using a different approach.<p> I am not condoning the things this person is doing/saying. But, I wouldn't get to worried about it. Can any of us truly say his/her way will not work for some?<p> I think the advice may be ok for someone who has been in plan a/b for an extended period of time and can't seem to move from there. We each must decide for ourselves though. <p> Rather than get all excited by this poster I would suggest not reading the posts from him/her if it bothers you. May not be the popular opinion on my part. But lets not have a witch hunt here.<p> jd

No witch hunt intended, jd, but it seems to me if the person was/is sincere, they would step up and answer some of these questions...especially, seeing as how they have been "called out" more than once, & by more than one poster. The fact that they are quiet draws even more attention to their motives... That's how I see it...